Ground Diary of a Hopper
SATURDAY NOVEMBER 17 Bristol Telephones 1 Welton Rovers 4
HAVING missed the Western League Groundhop in early October, I feel I am playing catch-up a little bit, so I plan a trip south west.
Bristol Telephones have a name so dull I find it perversely quirky, so that’s my chosen destination. However, a cheeky 10.30am EFL Youth League match at Yate catches my eye. Bristol Rovers U-18s are hosting Portsmouth U-18s meaning I can do two more new grounds.
The Youth game is an excellent advert for this level of football. A very impressive Pompey side play their way to a 4-2 victory against the plucky Rovers’ youngsters. It is a fine start to the day’s outing.
A 15-mile saunter along the sunny country back roads of eastern Bristol brings me to Stockwood Lane, home of the Telephones. The long gravel car park is separated from the actual ground by a grass overflow car park and green netting obscuring the pitch. There are two other grounds in close proximity: Cutters Friday and Stockwood, both of the Somerset League. It would have been ideal to visit all three venues in one day!
There are plenty of Welton fans in the clubhouse, mixing with a lively bunch of local lads. I expect one of the latter is wearing a grey jacket emblazoned with a pink ‘cock-and-balls’ motif for a bet/Children in Need? I daren’t ask in case it is his usual Saturday afternoon attire!
At the rear of the clubhouse, a friendly guy is preparing rolls to order and there are the usual pies and burgers on offer as well. After copying down the line-ups, a kind club official approaches to inform me of a late change due to an injury in the warm-up.
At the turnstile I pay £5 to get in and another £1 for the slim programme. I emerge in one corner of the stadium. The extensive dugouts stretch along one touchline, with the main stand on the opposite side. There’s the metal framework of a new stand in place behind the far goal: obviously ground improvements are ongoing at Stockwood.
I take my place in the main stand. Local fans shout mainly encouraging comments to their players, interspersed with ridiculous – ill-informed – moans at the match officials. Some of the criticisms become more and more bizarre as the game wears on. A few of the complainants have also failed to master the seemingly simple art of not standing in front of the seats and thus annoyingly block a few people’s view of the action. My original respect for the locals regarding their positive support for their lads quickly evaporates and I move out of earshot (and out of the way of their endless stream of cigarette smoke).
The game is an interesting one. Telephones have had a dodgy start to their Division One season, with just one win in 14 matches. They put on a dogged performance and Rovers will have gone away knowing they have been ‘engaged’ in a tricky contest.
In fact, Telephones’ only goal comes from the best move of the game: a lovely one-touch combination through the centre (disappointingly, as far as puns are concerned, it wasn’t ‘down the line’)!
PRE-MATCH INFO: 7, WELCOME: 6, FACILITIES: 6, FOOD: 5, CHARM: 5, PROGRAMME: 5, HOME TEAM RESPECT: 7, HOME FANS: 5, MATCH: 7, OVERALL TRIP: 8, OFFICIALS: 6.5, ATT: 60