The Non-League Football Paper

NO MATCH IS MEANINGLES­S

Steve HILL DEAD RUBBERS STILL EXCITE FANS

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WHAT possesses a man to travel the length and breadth of the country for a meaningles­s football match?

In the face of the cold indifferen­ce of the universe, they’re all ultimately meaningles­s. But this time of the season does tend to throw up the odd dead rubber, free from the heady thrill of a promotion chase or the nauseous horror of a relegation battle. Yet still we come, offering unyielding support week after week. By way of example, I recently awoke in Norwich on a Tuesday morning, caught a train to London, then two further trains to my house whereby I immediatel­y got in the car and drove to Gloucester, picking up my brother from Cheltenham en route. Numerous fellow Chester fans made their own particular journeys to watch a team with no prospect of making the playoffs and, with only one relegation berth, little realistic chance of going down. It appeared to be a sensible decision when we cruised into the last ten minutes with a 3-1 lead. Not so much when we conceded an injury time equaliser. Hopefully it won’t prove crucial, although a small part of me did wish it might, just to feel something.

Odyssey

Despite the capitulati­on, at the end of the day it was good to catch up with a few faces, tick off a new ground and see a hatful of goals. Pity the poor sap who turned up a few minutes late to find the gates closed, forced to clamber over a fence thus missing the first two goals. To add insult to injury, he had already paid for a pre-booked ticket. This thought kept me going on the solo drive home, along with sporadical­ly shouting the word “Idiots!” for midnight, a gruelling 12-hour odyssey. Take a point, move on.

North then to Guiseley the following Saturday, where I stood next to a Scotland-based Chester fan who hadn’t been home since Gloucester, simply touring the budget hotels of this land between matches. What commitment, rewarded with a comfortabl­e 2-0 victory. Again, had we been playing for our National League North lives, it would have been celebrated long and hard as opposed to being treated as a tour of duty. While a crippling blow to Guiseley’s survival hopes, without any real jeopardy attached it was little more than a kickabout in the sun for us, albeit preceded by a sublime bit of chippy.

A glutton for punishment (as well as chips), I even did battle with Bank Holiday

Monday traffic for what I though would be a trip to the seaside, otherwise known as AFC Fylde. Slightly disappoint­ed to discover that their impressive stadium is very much inland, it was another new ground for me, meaning that I have ticked off the entire National League North except for Blyth Spartans, for

which I am truly sorry.

Anger

The game also coincided with a visit from a legendary Chester fan of my acquaintan­ce, the self-styled Sydney Blue, over from Australia for a brief tour. His family were horrified to learn that he would be spending a significan­t amount of his time on these shores watching his team, whereas I will be appalled if he misses a single minute.

It would have been simpler to go and visit him at his famHome ily home, but given that our entire relationsh­ip is based on mutually bellowing at semi-pro footballer­s that was never going to happen. A 30-minute M6 delay and an impromptu tour of Stafford later, I rocked up at Fylde’s in-house sports bar only to be informed that no away fans were allowed in. They eventually let me in to shut me up.

As is often the case, the pre-match was arguably better than the game, a cursory 3-1 defeat. Despite having nothing to play for, Chester filled the away end and made most of the noise, particular­ly following a prepostero­us penalty decision that at least instilled a bit of anger. What a club!

I’m already booked in for the last three games of the season. If there’s one thing worse than a meaningles­s game, it’s no game at all…

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 ?? PICTURE: Alamy ?? RUN OF THE MILL: A trip to AFC Fylde’s Mill Farm stadium brought more memorable moments for the travelling
football fan
PICTURE: Alamy RUN OF THE MILL: A trip to AFC Fylde’s Mill Farm stadium brought more memorable moments for the travelling football fan

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