Windowed envelopes

It’s very heartening in this emailing age to see several ordinary letters on the mat. But they’re all in windowed envelopes, and I know what that means. Hardly anything worth receiving comes under such a cover. Well, occasionally one might find an overdue cheque inside, but windowed envelopes mostly contain bills, appeals for further donations, tedious reminders and updatings about causes or organisations whereby my brief interest some time in the past has entrenched me in their computer. And there is one rather sinister use of that window, evident when I see my complete name, surname and all given names, typed in above the address. That usually signifies a final demand, maybe that parking penalty.

A little research tells me that the windowed envelope, or ‘outlook envelope’, was patented by one Americus F Callahan of Chicago at the beginning of the last century. Such immortality.

And what is this? One of the windowed envelopes in the post today has a clumsily typed address on it – because the first two lines are not visible. I must scratch at the window with my broken nails to discover who should be receiving this unwanted letter. As a good citizen I should be recycling all my envelopes. But I learn from somewhere that the substance used in making these windows is a ‘contaminant’ and should be torn out of each envelope before it is recycled with other paper. Some hopes of that. Will everybody kindly stop sending me anything in windowed envelopes?

‘If anything, I’m dreaming of a green Christmas’