Pedants' Revolt

This month’s irritants

Why can’t doctors speak in a normal language? I went to the doctor the other day and he said ‘Pop off your shirt’ and then ‘Hop onto the couch’. HOP? I couldn’t even hop over a doormat. And don’t get me started on trousers. Nick Collis Bird

I wish writers like James Le Fanu when writing about birds would refrain from using the word ‘born’ when what they mean is ‘hatched’. The two words denote very different early happenings. Jack Hill

In Pedants’ Revolt in December Victoria Mckay refers to ‘the late Duke of Lancaster’. The Duke of Lancaster, as always, is the reigning monarch and as I write Elizabeth II seems to be alive and well. Pedants beware. Stephen Halliday

We have been exhorted to thrill at what has been described as the biggest moon for years. But it isn’t. The moon is always the same size. With such use of language I fear children may be scientifically misled. Helen Ingall

I am nowhere near old enough for your publication but my father suggested I submit the following question. Is there any grammatical justification for the use, now widespread in the US, of the phrase ‘x number of different’. For example, ‘We travelled to seven different countries’ or ‘Many different politicians found’. As opposed to seven countries that are the same or many identical politicians? S Zimmerman

The sign in the minibus said ‘six standees’. Someone who stands by is a bystander; someone who gets divorced is a divorcee. So is a standee someone who gets stood on? Why not ‘stander’? Paul Tarry

Email your grammatical errors, clichés and other bugbears to editorial@ theoldie.co.uk with ‘Pedant’ in the subject line, or send by post to Oldie Pedants, 23–31 Great Titchfield Street, London W1W 7PA.