Restaurants James Pembroke

FISHERS, FULHAM, LONDON SW6 THE HAND AND FLOWERS, MARLOW, BUCKINGHAMSHIRE

When my first prep school closed, with just 36 boys, my parents sent me to its deadliest rival in the same village, where I was given the sort of welcome Sadiq Khan can expect in the Isle of Thanet. I was saved by one contemporary, Rupert Scott, who was extremely empathetic, and has remained so ever since. Even as a teenager, he was the consummate host, having that rare knack of presupposing what his guests wanted next. He evaded his obvious destiny as a restaurateur until he bought Fishers in Fulham a year ago, where he serves the best fish and chips I have ever had.

This is a genuine compliment because I have long avoided the National Dish on pub menus and at chip shops, with the exception of the Aldeburgh Fish & Chip Shop. I have a dread of a greasy, flabbybattered underbelly, leaving a residue of nausea which lasts until breakfast the next day. Rupert’s obsessive attention to detail is what ensures his light batter, fried in rape seed oil, and crunchy chips, which are double-fried Maris Pipers. He even makes his own tartare sauce and all the puddings. From 12 to 6pm in the week, you (and only 24 other souls) can sit down to his cod and chips at just £7 and a glass of wine for a fiver. The prices go up after 7pm, but you can park outside in the bus lane. There’s a garden, which would make for the perfect party venue in the summer. Little wonder it is rated on Tripadvisor as the 12th best restaurant in London out of a field of 18,000.

It is the only time I have ever respected Tripadvisor, which is subject to all sorts of manipulation, as was brilliantly exposed by Oobah Butler, who managed to propel his garden shed in Dulwich to the number one London spot on Tripadvisor within six months, despite serving £1 microwave meals. To further expose our gullibility and the Millennials’ desperation for a new, appointment-only restaurant, he even faked photographs of his dishes, using bleach tablets and shaving foam.

There’s no faking it at The Hand and Flowers, Tom Kerridge’s Michelin two-star pub in Marlow, or does he call it his boozer, à la Jamie and Heston? Since my last visit on my birthday four years ago, he has added a large bar extension, and it’s worth coming for the cocktails alone. My daughter worked her way

through a Marmalade Duke. God knows how anyone can make magic from vodka, Baileys, chestnut syrup, Curaçao and espresso but they pulled it off. The tables in the dining room are better spaced than when I coincidentally shared a birthday with a 21-year-old at the next table. He was given a crash helmet, I a vast pair of boxer shorts, which reduced the assembled company to hysterical laughter, made louder by my children’s idea to put the shorts over the helmet.

The presence of Gary Lineker leant a more sober influence to our recent evening, allowing us to concentrate on the menu’s masterpieces: Warm Ploughman’s Cheese Tart with ‘Lamb Porchetta’, Crispy Haggis and Pickle, followed by Slow Cooked Duck Breast with Duck and Beetroot Tart, Roasted Plum and Girolles, not to mention his famous chips. At lunch, he offers fish and chips for £17.50 but I dare him to match Fishers’.

Fishers, 19 Fulham St, London SW6 3JH; www.fishersfishandchips.co.uk, 020 7371 5555; full menu, including fish pie, for £9.95, and chicken salad for £8.95.

The Hand and Flowers, 126 West Street, Marlow SL7 2BP; www.thehandandflowers.co.uk, 01628 482 277; set lunch £29.50 for three courses.