All the Queen’s Corgis: The Story of Elizabeth II and Her Most Faithful Companions by Penny Junor Nicola Shulman – and her corgi, Mishka
NICOLA SHULMAN – AND HER CORGI, MISHKA All the Queen’s Corgis: The story of Elizabeth II and Her Most Faithful Companions By Penny Junor Hodder & Stoughton £14.99
Having exhausted the two-legged members of the royal family, Penny Junor has turned her attentions to the royal corgis. Snapping at the heels, so to speak, of her biography of the Duchess of Cornwall, comes this brief WOOF! Mishka, be quiet! WOOF WOOF! Mishka! Down! Bad dog! That’s my lapto…
Woof! Hey motherpuppers1, Mishka here, aka @mishkacorgo, doggo2 influencer3, dogcreative4 instagrammer and social media pawformer #corgipuppiesofinstagram. Excited to be collaborating with this great heritage brand @Oldiemagazine this Christmas.
And good choice! I know about the Queen. My hooman5 and I get stopped a lot in the street by tourists asking. ‘Is Queendog?’ Hooman even knows the names of these puppers6 and mutters stuff like, ‘Shame about Whisper dying. Poor Queen. Her last corgi. Why don’t her bloody children just get her another and look after it when she goes?’
Whatever. But here’s the thing: tbh7, this Queen rap is very old school, and this book is sadly out of touch. Example: says here, ‘Corgis have been seen for some time by many as old people’s dogs.’ Fake news! We’re all about the corgo youthquake. Teenagers mob me in the street. Seventy-two per cent of my followers8 are under 30. We corgs have strong engagement with young Russians and Koreans, and China is starting to come together #yearofthedog. Why? Not because of the Queen. Because Instagram loves a corgi. #6millionpostsandgrowing.
Imo9, these royal stumpers10 could do so much better with good representation. Here’s the thing: Instagram success is all about market niche. Because the dog market is pretty much saturated, you have to find the USP11 (mine is ears #oneuponedown). But these corgos are heckin12 niche. They could be as big as @kardashian. First, the royal corgis got family: 14 generations of puppos, going back to Susan, the ‘foundation bitch’ (cosmetic brands gonna love that). They’ve got diversity #dorgi #modernfamily. They got drama, like when Princess Anne’s Staffie, Florence, killed the Queen’s oldest corgi, Pharos, on Christmas day. And there are stand-out stars, like Honey, who bites policemen’s trousers . LOL! 13 I’m thinking clothing range, I’m thinking private members’ club. For real, the sky’s the limit for these doggos.
Such great brand potential. Not gonna lie, though, they are letting themselves down with this book. So apparently they ‘live in a prestigious part of London’, but do we see it? And they’ve got access to die for: royal trains, private jets, heads of state, all wasted. Like, there’s a picture of seven of these good boys14 doin’ them a deplane15 down from Queenforce One.