Modern Life: What are Memory Cafés?
Rev Steve Morris
In the late 1990s, Dutch psychiatrist Dr Bere Miesen had a question that was nagging away at him. What could be done about the stigma and neglect faced by those with dementia and their carers? How could he bring people out of the shadows and offer some fresh hope?
The result was the first Memory Café, and there are now thousands of them all over the world. Each one is a response to the question the doctor asked. They take on the dread of dementia, armed with a kettle, a teabag and a warm welcome. Most feature memory activities such as a
simple quiz or word game as well. Memory Cafés are springing up everywhere, in towns, cities and villages across the UK. They pop up in pubs, churches, community centres and care homes. There are hundreds of them – run by charities, community groups or church groups. They are a local response to a national emergency.
In America, where there are thousands, they take place in cafés and restaurants as well as libraries, schools and seniors’ centres.
The basic pattern for them across the world remains remarkably consistent – love, care and activities offered in an informal environment.
Each café will also take on a nuance of its own. Some add to the format with dancing or craft activities. Many run by established charities tend to have a
strong educational element – often including talks on living with dementia.
Our Memory Café in north London has had an unexpected side effect. We thought we were setting it up for those with dementia, but we found we were also getting people who were lonely.
The Campaign to End Loneliness estimates that a quarter of the UK population says it is always or often lonely – so there is a huge need out there. Among these lonely people, two out of three say they are uncomfortable about admitting they are lonely. The baby-boomer dream wasn’t meant to end with isolation. The Memory Café is a place to go without stigma – and without admitting that a lot of the day is spent staring at the wall.
We feature a choir and a vigorous exercise session – not at the same time. We have quizzes that often elicit wonderful answers. One of our recent questions was: ‘It starts with B and we all have nine pints of this.’ Answer from one guest: ‘Beer!’
We don’t do education and we don’t ask people to prove that they have a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s in order to come. All are welcome and they have begun coming in their droves. We get twice as many for the Memory Café as for our Sunday service. Our focus is joy and helping people to feel a bit more normal.
One week, a former headteacher looking after his wife who has dementia, came up to me. ‘You make our week,’ he said. ‘I don’t know what we would do without you.’
Which isn’t bad for a local venture that, at its simplest, only needs a room, a kettle and some biscuits to get started. Our catchline is ‘Be Part of Something Good’.
For tips on setting up a Memory Café, visit www.memcafe.org