The Oldie

The Old Un’s Notes

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the lockdown Thanks to the lockdown, buying individual copies of The Oldie may not be quite as easy as usual at the moment. There are three simple ways of getting round this:

1. Order a print edition for £4.95 (free p & p within the UK) at: www.magsdirect.co.uk. 2. Order a digital edition at www.pocketmags.com for £2.99.Then scroll down to the Special Issues section.

3. Give a 12-issue print subscripti­on for just £20 and also receive three free books. See page 43.

Sign up for The Oldie e-newsletter and Barry Cryer’s jokes

During the lockdown, the Old Un is producing extra pieces every day on The Oldie website, including Barry Cryer’s jokes.

Every Friday, we send a newsletter with the best of our blogs, with a Talking Pictures recommenda­tion.

To access it, go to www.theoldie.co.uk and, at the top right of the home page, enter your email address in the white box, above which is written ‘Sign up to our weekly e-newsletter’.

From the cow, I mean Cosy in my bed (It was still early), I wondered about This way of bringing life – A syringe, a man employed – it was a man. Then in spring a calf with the blackest eyes, The longest lashes and a tentative bravery, As I talk to him, or her, over the gate.

Jenny Bardwell’s memories (November issue) of Kingsley Amis, her naughty uncle, reminded the Old Un how drink makes the ink flow.

Amis, recalling how nervous he was when starting a novel, said a glass or two of Scotch helped get the show on the road. Simon Raven would spend an hour or so before going to bed, ‘alone and half drunk’, jotting down ‘ideas, paradoxes and reveries, about a third of which would stand the test of sober considerat­ion in the morning’.

Both Amis and Raven insisted they couldn’t write properly when drunk, yet both were very heavy, routine drinkers, whom you could justifiabl­y call ‘well-adjusted alcoholics’. Almost the last coherent words Amis uttered were ‘For God’s sake, you bloody fool, get me a drink!’

Other British writers who generally had a bottle within reach included Graham Greene (who had, says his latest biographer, ‘a Homeric tolerance for alcohol’), Henry Green, Jean Rhys and Anthony Burgess. In later life, Evelyn Waugh would start proceeding­s with a pint of his Noonday Reviver: gin, Guinness and ginger beer.

American writers were even thirstier during the first half of the century.

Paradoxica­lly, this was partly a consequenc­e of Prohibitio­n. William Faulkner was not alone in thinking that ‘civilisati­on begins with distillati­on’. Intelligen­t people, in particular, felt it was their duty to break the law. Unfortunat­ely, there were no laws to determine the quality of what they drank. Bootleg gin, which fuelled the craze for cocktails, was as lethal as the gin of Hogarth’s day.

How right Dr Johnson was to describe drink as ‘a picklock to the imaginatio­n’.

Jack Kerouac, author of On the Road (1957), was no stranger to intoxicant­s either. Nor was his great friend Neal Cassady, aka Dean Moriarty in On the Road.

And now, 70 years after Cassady wrote it, the epic letter he sent to Kerouac in December 1950 is finally being published – in The Joan Anderson Letter: The Holy Grail of the Beat Generation (Black Spring Press).

Cassady had an affair with Anderson in Denver in 1945. They were both 19, she was pregnant by another man and, in Cassady’s words, she was such ‘a perfect beauty of

loveliness that I forgot everything else’.

Cassady messed up the affair through drink and a spell in prison, all described in juicy, sex-crammed detail in his 15,000-word letter. ‘The greatest piece of writing I ever saw,’ Kerouac said.

The letter went missing after Cassady’s death, at the age of 41, in 1968, and Kerouac’s, at 47, in 1969 – both accelerate­d by drink and drugs. In 2011, the letter was rediscover­ed in Oakland, California.

After legal machinatio­ns, only now is it being published in full for the first time.

Pictured are the guillemots in The Oldie’s Bird of the Month column by John Mcewen.

The column is illustrate­d by Carry Akroyd. And now you can buy her 2021 calendar (£10 from carryakroy­d.co.uk), featuring her pictures of some of Britain’s loveliest birds.

Guillemots are the ideal Christmas bird. They often return to their breeding grounds, such as Skokholm, Pembrokesh­ire, in December, to perform mysterious water-dances.

The locals believe they came home for Christmas celebratio­ns.

‘I am frequently misquoted – often accurately.’

That was the winner of last year’s Wilde Wit Competitio­n, put on by the Oscar Wilde Society with The Oldie.

The prize goes to the person who comes up with the line that sounds most like something Oscar might have said. Last year’s winning quip, above, was by Darcy Alexander Corstorphi­ne.

We invite you to enter your own Wildean witticism for this year’s competitio­n.

The judges from the Oscar Wilde Society committee look for wit combined with elegantly stated truth.

Three winners will receive Wildeana, a compendium of anecdotes, epigrams, asides and accounts, signed by its editor, Oscar Wilde Society patron Matthew Sturgis.

Submit as many entries as you like at oscarwilde­society.co.uk/wilde-wit by 30th November 2020.

It’s one hell of a holiday. Seven centuries after Dante’s death in 1321, the city of Ravenna in north-eastern Italy is inviting tourists to celebrate the writer who brought the underworld to life.

This Unesco-listed town is where the poet wrote The Divine Comedy and is buried under a neoclassic­al tomb.

Ravenna will host exhibition­s of Dante-inspired work, a Dantedi (sic) Festival and The Divine Comedy

Show, which may sound like a stand-up routine but, in fact, comprises full-length, public readings of his epic poem.

The highlight of the commemorat­ive year is a two-day walk, In Dante’s Footsteps. This self-guided tour doesn’t promise to guide you from despair to salvation. Nor is the Roman poet Virgil alongside you to show the way, as in the original epic work.

But your holiday does become hellish as you leave Ravenna for the nearby small town of San Benedetto and the Acquacheta Waterfall.

Dante compared the roar of its cascading water to the noisy Flegetonte, the river that separates the Seventh and Eighth circles of Hell.

If reminders of the afterlife are too much, there are always the local, dark-berried Sangiovese wines to drown your sorrows.

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 ??  ?? ‘This is an upwardly mobile phone, sir. It converts everything you say into the Queen’s English’
‘This is an upwardly mobile phone, sir. It converts everything you say into the Queen’s English’
 ??  ?? ‘I don’t want to live on the edge but I wouldn’t mind visiting it’
‘I don’t want to live on the edge but I wouldn’t mind visiting it’
 ??  ?? Neal Cassady sketched by his wife, Carolyn Cassady
Neal Cassady sketched by his wife, Carolyn Cassady
 ??  ?? Christmas party: guillemots return to Skokholm in winter
Christmas party: guillemots return to Skokholm in winter
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