Family Tree

Compared to Liam’s, mine was more like a twig . . .

THE one thing I’d always wished for was a brother or a sister. Or both. Two of each, even – anything rather than being the only one.

“An only one is a lonely one,” I used to chant.

But not all of my friends were sympathetic, especially my best friend Melanie, who was one of six.

“You always have a sister to rely on,” I tried to explain as we walked through the park, sharing a bag of chips.

“In your dreams, Izzy,” she retorted.

“And a brother to stand up for you.”

“To the outside world maybe . . .”

“But when the chips are down –”

“They’ll eat them before you get a look in,” Melanie finished. “But if I could have chosen a sister it would have been you.”

She smiled and I had a warm feeling inside, before she pinched the last chip and threw the bag into the bin.

Despite promising myself I’d have a massive family to make up for being the only one, after having Hope when I was seventeen, I found myself single again.

So it was really just Mum, Dad, Hope and me, and we were perfectly happy, until Hope went to uni, met Liam and began talking about meeting his family.

It appeared that Liam’s family went on and on and on.

“Do you remember an old song called “I’m My Own Grandpa”?” Liam asked me one day.

“Vaguely,” I replied. “Something about a guy having such an intricate family through marriages and step-relatives that he ended up being his own grandpa.”

“Well,” Liam continued, “that’s what our family’s like. And every time someone gets married, their family becomes part of it, too, so over the years it’s become really big.

“We have a get-together once a year and it’s coming up next month, so I thought it would be an ideal opportunity for you to meet them all.”

I swallowed hard. “How many exactly?” He looked thoughtful for a moment.

“About two hundred.” It occurred to me that if Liam and Hope ever got married, there would be three of us on one side of the aisle and the other would be full to bursting point.

“I’d really like you to meet Great-uncle Gordon,” Liam went on. “You’d get on well together and he loves a joke.”

My mind slipped back to Melanie all those years ago. I wondered what had happened to her.

We’d gone our separate ways after we left school and lost touch. She always maintained she’d never have children, just as I always said I’d have several.

“So where’s Great-uncle Gordon?” I asked Liam on the night of the family get-together.

The band was tuning up for a ceilidh.

They’d hired a hotel, of course, as there were far too many people for someone’s house, and it seemed to me they weren’t a family, but more a small civilisation all of their own.

From nine months to ninety, there were hugs and kisses, shrieks and laughter, just like families should be.

I’d met Liam’s mum and dad somewhere amongst the whirl and my own parents seemed to be having a whale of a time.

“In the corner,” he replied. “With the beard.”

I squinted towards the corner, noticing an elderly gent with a short white beard, and decided to escape to what I hoped was sanctuary.

But Great-uncle Gordon had no such thoughts. As soon as I arrived, his eyes lit up.

“Yes, please, don’t mind if I do,” he said, discarding his stick, taking my hand and heading for the dance floor.

The band was lively, the caller wonderful, but Great-uncle Gordon was slightly deaf and had a certain problem with left and right, resulting in us always seeming to be dancing the wrong steps, in the wrong order, at the wrong time.

Finally the music ended, and Great-uncle Gordon was miraculously in the right place for a change. I curtsied, he bowed, then escorted me back to my seat.

“I think that might be enough for now, my dear,” he said, mopping his brow with

a handkerchief. “I’m not as young as I used to be. But there’s a young one here who’ll dance with you.”

He waved a hand towards one of the passing hordes. The band struck up again and, before I had time to catch my breath, I was whisked away once more.

My new partner gave a nod and the dance began, but this time we were doing the right steps, in the right order, at the right time.

We spun round, made arches for the other dancers and practically skipped back to the beginning. It was wonderful.

“I really must stay with Great-uncle Gordon,” I said as I sipped the drink my new partner had brought me. “I think he’s been assigned to look after me for the evening.”

I wondered which of the many uncles or cousins this was. He was around my age and attractive, if you liked men with beards, which I did.

“Oh, good.” He smiled happily. “But where are you going?” he asked as I stood up.

“To find Great-uncle Gordon,” I replied. He looked puzzled. “But I’m right here.” “What? So who was I dancing with before?” “That was Uncle Harold.” “No offence to Uncle Harold, but he’s about forty years older than you!” I exclaimed. “How can you be Great-uncle Gordon when you’re my age, and Uncle Harold’s well into his seventies?”

“Let’s drop the greatuncle,” he replied with a grin. “My sister by my father’s first marriage is Liam’s grandmother, hence the great-uncle bit.

“And as my father married again late in life to a much younger wife, I was actually born after Harold, who was the eldest of Liam’s dad’s family.”

“OK, I think I get the idea.” My head was spinning again. “I’m not used to such big family gatherings.”

“Neither was I,” Gordon admitted. “I felt like an only child when I was growing up, the others being so much older and all.”

I smiled, feeling I’d found a kindred spirit.

The band started again, but neither of us got up to dance and I found myself telling Gordon all about me and Hope and my silly worry about there not being anyone on our side at the wedding, if ever there was one.

He laughed as if it was all very amusing and my heart did a little somersault.

“Easily solved,” he replied, a twinkle in his lovely blue eyes. “If you marry me first, all these will be your family, too, and we can divide them up between us. Deal?”

He was laughing, then went down on one knee, holding his hand out to me.

I began laughing, too, then he said something which I didn’t quite hear.

“Pardon?” I shouted as the band reached its crescendo.

“I said . . .”

I leaned forward to catch his words, but at that moment the band stopped playing and, in the two seconds before everyone began clapping and talking again, Great-uncle Gordon’s voice rang out across the room.

“WILL YOU MARRY ME?” It wasn’t as embarrassing as I’d thought. Some people cheered, others clapped, but they soon returned to whatever they were doing and the evening continued.

But before Gordon had even got to his feet a women appeared and tapped him on the shoulder.

“And what do you think you’re doing?” she asked.

Gordon turned, a look of delight spreading across his face as he put his arm around the woman and gave her a kiss. Then I saw she was holding a baby.

For a moment I was stunned, then realised it had all been a joke. Had he really meant to propose to me? Of course not.

Liam had said Great-uncle Gordon loved a joke. It was a bit of fun. He was married and this was his wife and baby.

“Izzie –” Gordon turned, a huge smile on his face “– this is . . .”

I stood, my mouth dry, wondering how I was going to regain my composure, then my eyes widened and I was taken back to my teens, sharing a bag of chips with my best friend in the park. “Melanie?”

“Izzie!” She flung her arms around me as best she could. “I can’t believe it.”

“Nor me. But how . . .?” I peeped at the baby as Melanie smiled and adjusted the pink shawl.

“I waited a long time,” she said. “It wasn’t as easy as I’d thought when the time came, but this is Isabella.

“Named after my favourite sister, of course.

“And this is my husband Josh,” she added as a tall man appeared at her side.

“But how . . .?” I was in more shock than ever, what with Melanie turning up like that, with a baby named after me.

For a moment I felt that warm glow again, remembering the time she’d said something about choosing me as a sister if she’d been able that day in the park.

“Melanie’s married to my nephew, Josh,” Gordon explained. “So she’s my niece-in-law. And when we’re married, she’ll be yours, too.”

“You mean, you’re serious about us getting married?” I asked, astonishment tinged with a tiny flutter of hope in my voice.

“Of course,” he replied. “Aren’t you?”

Then I realised it didn’t matter if brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, nephew, nieces, grandparents, mums and dads – or even people you eat chips with in the park – aren’t blood relatives. It’s caring that counts.

I’d had the sister I longed for all along, and now, it appeared, I might have found a husband, too.

In seemingly no time at all, two years have passed and it’s time for another family get-together. But with one or two additions.

Gordon and I did indeed get married and produced twin boys, Edward and Samuel.

Hope and Liam got married, too, and shortly after our sons were born they produced a baby daughter, Daisy.

But this makes more complications.

You see, although I’m Hope’s mother, because I’m married to Liam’s great-uncle, I’m now Liam and Hope’s great-aunt, too. I’m grandmother to Daisy, but Gordon and I are also her great-greataunt and uncle.

Edward and Samuel are uncles to Daisy, although there are only a few months between them, and they are Hope’s brothers and Liam’s brothers-in-law. And Daisy is their niece.

Melanie is now my niece and little Isabella my great-niece.

Mum and Dad are thrilled to bits with it all, if a little confused, and have decided a large family isn’t such a bad thing after all.

The other day I heard that song on the radio again, “I’m My Own Grandpa”. But now it makes perfect sense to me.

And there’s one thing Melanie and I have promised we will always do at future family gettogethers – make sure there are plenty of chips to go round! n

I wondered which of the many uncles or cousins this was It appeared I might have found a husband, too!