All I Want For Christmas

While the girls celebrated achieving their goals, Zoe and Adam had something else to toast . . .

AS Zoe drove to Salisbury hospital through the December night, she felt numb. How could GJ have had a heart attack? She was so fit – she had always been active and slim.

She’d always seemed 10 years younger than she really was, and yesterday they had spoken on the phone and she’d sounded fine.

She found a space in the car park and hurried towards the main entrance, her breath clouding in the night air.

It had got cold over the last couple of days and they were forecasting snow for the following week .

A man in a Father Christmas outfit came down the steps, followed by a woman carrying a plastic reindeer. They were laughing.

Zoe suddenly felt very alone. She should probably have let Maria or Katherine come with her. They had both offered.

A few minutes later she was in the cardiac ward, where a softly spoken nurse reassured her that it was fine to wait.

“The doctor is seeing your grandmother now. We’ll have some more news for you soon. Try not to worry, love. Why don’t you get yourself a hot drink? There’s a machine in the corridor.”

Her kindness prompted tears, which Zoe blinked away.

Katherine and Maria had left the pub just after Zoe. It had seemed pointless to stay without her.

Maria had gone off to see Noah about the flat he’d mentioned, and Katherine had just let herself into a dark house.

Paul’s car was outside so he must be in, but it was very quiet. She stood in the kitchen for a moment, gathering her thoughts.

Usually they’d have had the decorations up by now, but this year, aside from the handful of cards on the kitchen table, you wouldn’t have even known it was Christmas.

She felt sad. What was happening to them?

With a sigh she went through to the lounge and stood in the doorway.

Paul was sitting in his armchair. The TV was on, but the sound was muted.

There was a family on screen sitting around a table wearing paper hats and eating turkey.

Katherine stepped across the room. Christmas or no Christmas, their talk couldn’t be put off any longer. She couldn’t bear to carry on like this.

“Paul?” she said gently and he looked up. “Can we talk?”

“Yes. OK.” Their eyes met and he gave her a sad little smile.

Zoe felt her heart thumping with anxiety as she sat on the chair beside him.

She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but that approach hadn’t worked before, so in the end she just said softly, “Have you stopped loving me?”

At Salisbury Hospital, Zoe stood up to greet the doctor who was heading her way.

“How is she?” It was impossible to keep the anxiety out of her voice.

“She is absolutely fine. Your grandmother has angina, which can be very frightening. She was right to phone us.” He paused as Zoe touched his arm, so choked with relief she couldn’t speak.

She swallowed.

“Can I see her?”

“Of course you can.” GJ looked pale, but she was sitting up in bed when Zoe went into the room.

“Hello, darling. I’m sorry if I gave you a shock. But I’m OK. As you can see.” She swung her legs over the side of the bed.

“Stay where you are. I don’t think you should be getting up yet.”

“Why not? It’s just angina. It can be brought on by the cold, apparently. I’m getting one of those puffer thingies.”

But she did as she was told and Zoe knew that she wasn’t quite as recovered as she was attempting to appear.

“It’s so good to see you.” Zoe hugged her, breathing in the familiar scents of citrus perfume and warmth.

She could feel her own heart swelling in her chest with relief and love and intense gratitude.

“What did the doctor say about lifestyle and diet and stuff? Will you need to take medication?” She let GJ go and drew back so she could look at her.

“So many questions.” GJ’S cheeks had gone pink. “I shall try to answer them one at a time.”

The expression on Paul’s face was one of disbelief.

He blinked, but before he could answer her question, Katherine heard herself running on.

“I know I’ve got fat. But I’m trying to do something about it. I’ve been –”

Paul was shaking his head.

“Stop.” He reached for her hands across the gap between their armchairs.

His eyes widened in bafflement.

“Why on earth would you think that? If anything it’s me who’s let you down.”

She felt a new fear coiling up through her; an unspoken, and until now unacknowledged, fear.

All the late nights, the grumpiness, the turning away from her in bed – she couldn’t say it had never crossed her mind that they were signs of an affair.

As she waited for him to explain, a tear rolled down her face and fell on to their joined hands.

“Oh, Katherine. I’m so sorry. I should never have let it come to this. I should have talked to you before, but I kept thinking things would sort themselves out.

“It’s not you,” he added, squeezing her fingers. “It’s work. When I got that promotion I was pleased as Punch.”

His eyes clouded.

“I had no idea it would be so tough. The truth is . . .” His forehead wrinkled and he let his breath out in a sigh.

“I can’t cope with it. I have been worried sick about telling you.

“I know how much you’ve been looking forward to us going to the party, but the truth is I don’t think I can stay in the job. I’m going to have to resign.”

This was so far away from what she’d been expecting that, for a moment, Katherine could only stare at him in shock.

“I’m going to hold on until Christmas –”

She interrupted him. “I don’t care about the job. I don’t care about the party, either.”

How on earth had they got so far apart that they’d managed to misread each other totally?

“The only thing I care about, Paul,” she said now, “is you. I love you. I don’t mind what job you have. I don’t mind if you don’t have a job at all. We can manage.”

She could see the slow dawning relief in his eyes. She could feel it in herself, too.

“We’ve been such idiots.” He smiled.

“Absolute idiots,” she agreed.

Suddenly they were both laughing. He got out of his chair and held out his arms and she fell into them. It felt so utterly wonderful being there.

She closed her eyes, leaning her head against the warmth of him.

“We can make plans for Christmas,” she suggested. “Plans that don’t involve spending money, I mean.”

“We’re not broke,” he murmured. “One of the things I have been doing is putting aside as much as possible, in case we needed the money while I found another job.”

“Christmas doesn’t have to be expensive.” She could feel a huge lightness growing inside her.

They were back on track. He still loved her, and she didn’t think she had ever loved him more than she did at that moment.

The fact he’d allowed himself to be so vulnerable in front of her had made him seem incredibly strong.

The doorbell rang and the sound of tuneful voices filled their ears.

The carol singers couldn’t have timed it better, Katherine thought.

It was Tuesday morning before Zoe felt as if her feet had hit the ground. GJ was safely at home.

“But you’re not to do too much,” Zoe had ordered. “You need to rest.”

“I’m not an invalid.” Her grandmother’s lips curled mutinously. “But I will take it easy, I promise.”

Zoe had to be content with that.

She’d forgotten about the fact that Adam was trying to get hold of her until he appeared in person at the salon.

He was in Father Christmas mode. He was working in the grotto in the Christmas shop at the other end of the high street.

“You’re a hard woman to track down,” he said, his eyes smiling. “I’ve left two messages on your phone.”

“I haven’t had any,” she replied, feeling in her pockets and realising her phone wasn’t there.

She’d had it this morning when she’d called to see GJ. She must have left it there.

She glanced back at Adam. That ridiculous bobble on his hat was obscuring part of his face.

The first time she’d seen him he’d been in that outfit, and she’d been attracted to him even then, but that was before she’d discovered he had an elf for a girlfriend.

“What can I do for you?” There must have been more frost in her voice than she’d intended because the smile faded from his eyes.

“Dad asked me to tell you that, if you still want it, Christmas Cottage is yours. The other tenant pulled out on Saturday and Dad wanted you to have first refusal.”

She stared at him in shock.

“Did he? Er, OK.”

“I have been worried sick about telling you”

She seemed to have lost the power of speech. He was already turning away.

“Tell him yes. Yes, please,” she called after his retreating back.

“Maybe you should go after him,” Maria said as she came out of a treatment room and caught the tail end of the conversation. “He may not have heard you.”

Zoe nodded and took off her overalls.

If she’d had her phone, she could have phoned the agency, but Maria was right. She might as well go after him.

There was no sign of him on the street. Zoe supposed she could try the Christmas shop, but he was probably on his lunch.

She decided to walk up to the rental agency instead.

She wasn’t sure whether she was disappointed or relieved to discover that he wasn’t there, either. But his father was.

“Zoe.” Martin excused himself from the phone call he was on and glanced at her. “Adam gave you the good news? I’ll be right with you.”

Zoe decided to keep her news a secret from GJ until she was sure the cottage was hers.

There was no sense in two of them being disappointed if it fell through again.

It didn’t. Turner’s Rental Agents pulled out all the stops so she could be in as soon as possible, and just over a week later she had the keys.

“Paul and I will help you move on Sunday, if you like?” Katherine offered when she told the girls her good news.

“Noah and I will help, too,” Maria said. “In case your gran gets any mad ideas about carrying boxes.”

Zoe smiled at them. It would be even better if she could surprise GJ.

“Thanks,” she said. “I really appreciate that.”

In the end it was just the four of them on Sunday. Noah apparently had something urgent to do.

By the end of Sunday Zoe was in – or at least her packing boxes were in.

The three women sat on them while Paul lugged in the table and chairs that he and Katherine had just donated.

“Call it an early Christmas present,” Katherine had said, refusing to take any money for them. “They’ve been in our garage for years – you’ll be doing us a favour.”

She was looking so much happier lately, Zoe thought, wondering if it was because she was almost at her target weight.

Or was there something more exciting going on?

“Well, thank you again,” Zoe said now. “How about you all come here for dinner? Shall we say a week tomorrow? I’ll be sorted by then. I can cook something to say thank you properly.”

“You do realise that’s Christmas Eve?” Katherine reminded her. “Mind you, it’s fine for Paul and me. We’re not busy.”

“I don’t think I’m busy, either,” Maria added, and Zoe touched her arm.

“Bring Noah, obviously. I’ll invite GJ, too.

“Just the busiest week of the year to get through first,” Zoe said with a smile. “Is it OK with you both if we stay open late on Thursday and Friday?”

They nodded enthusiastically. They were both on commission.

“You can’t believe how much of a boost that’s given me. When can I come round?” GJ clapped her hands like a child.

It was Monday evening and Zoe had called round to tell her the news.

They were now in GJ’S kitchen, tucking into her melt-in-the-mouth mincepies.

“How did you keep it a secret, you naughty girl?”

“I haven’t had to keep it secret for long. Martin Turner’s been wonderful.”

“And how about his son?” GJ enquired idly. “Any news on that front?”

“He hasn’t split up with his girlfriend, if that’s what you mean.” Zoe felt her heart dip and berated herself for being selfish.

She had seen them earlier, outside the salon. Adam had rested his hand on the elf’s shoulders as they’d crossed the road.

Zoe had dragged her gaze away. There was no sense in hankering after what she couldn’t have.

“In answer to your earlier question, we can go round now, if you like?” She waved the keys under GJ’S nose to divert her. “How exciting.”

“You are forbidden to get excited. You can sit on a packing box and tell me stories of your youth while I sort out where I’m going to put stuff.”

GJ pretended indignation, but she looked delighted. “I’ll get my coat.” Fifteen minutes later, they pulled up outside Christmas Cottage.

The last thing Katherine had done yesterday was to place a holly-berry wreath on the hook on the front door.

Zoe fizzed with happiness as she glanced at it, outlined by the streetlight outside.

“I was hoping that you might come and spend Christmas with me,” she said to GJ. “I can cook for a change and you can chillax. As they call it these days.”

“Chillax – what a ridiculous word,” GJ grumbled, but her eyes were sparkling.

At about the same time as GJ and Zoe arrived at Christmas Cottage, Maria and Noah were arriving at the open-air ice rink.

It was set up on the edge of town, beneath a mantle of stars, and the whole area was decked out with fairy lights and sprigs of holly and mistletoe.

It was like some huge winter wonderland, Maria thought as they collected their skates.

They’d been here last December, too. Maria felt an ache of nostalgia as she skated out on to the ice behind Noah.

She hadn’t been as confident a year ago, but one of the advantages of dance classes was that she’d gained poise and balance.

Noah skated as sublimely as he could dance – he was that sort of guy. At least this year she wouldn’t let him down by making a fool of herself.

On the surface she was happy. She’d been reunited with her boyfriend. So why did she feel so alone?

Someone bumped her shoulder and apologised before skating on.

At the edge of the rink near the wooden barrier a couple were helping each other along. They were holding hands and laughing.

Maria watched them for a while. She would have liked that kind of relationship with Noah, but she didn’t have it.

She couldn’t imagine Noah helping her to do things she was struggling with.

It was all about the performance with him – what people thought or how he was perceived. These were the important things.

Were they really, Maria thought now. They obviously weren’t to that couple who couldn’t skate.

The guy had just taken a tumble and was on his back on the ice.

He was laughing so hard he couldn’t get up again.

His partner joined in, bent over double.

She gave herself a shake. All relationships were different.

What did it matter if they usually did what Noah wanted to do?

She’d been happy to come with him tonight. Even though when he’d arrived at hers she’d been in the middle of flat hunting.

The one he’d mentioned she could rent had fallen through. His mate had decided to stay put after all.

“You can flat hunt after Christmas,” Noah had said cheerily. “It’s not as though you’re going to be out on the street,

is it?”

“Am I not?” She blinked at him, thinking for a moment he was going to suggest she stayed with him.

“Your folks wouldn’t let that happen,” he added with a wink. “Come on, let’s go skating. I’m bored with sitting around. We should be enjoying ourselves.”

The whole world seemed to have just realised the same thing.

It was now Friday the twenty-first and Beautiful You was busy.

“You’d think everyone would have their party look sorted by now,” Katherine muttered as she took another booking for nails.

“Last-minute panic.” Zoe smiled at her across reception. “It’s the same every year, isn’t it? Everyone thinks they’ve got more time.”

“I’ll be glad when it’s here,” Katherine put in. “And I can collapse in a heap.”

“Ditto,” Zoe agreed. “I’ve got bookings till nine tonight. I need some down time.”

She was tired, but happy. She was settled at Christmas Cottage and it was everything she had hoped for.

Mr Timms loved the garden, and every time she pulled up outside her front door, she felt her heart sing.

The only dark spot on the horizon was Adam Turner.

She’d seen quite a bit of him lately.

He’d dropped off a copy of the house paperwork, then popped into the salon a couple of times on what seemed like pretty flimsy excuses.

The last time he’d asked her for a Christmas drink.

“If you’ve, um, got time and you’d like to . . . It would be good to get to know you a bit better – as a friend . . .” He’d tailed off, tripping over his words, his usual confidence clearly having deserted him.

“Actually I don’t have time,” she replied with a frown, adding for good measure, “and I don’t mix business with pleasure.”

It was a ridiculous thing to say. In normal circumstances she’d have said yes, but there was the small matter of his elf.

Did Adam think she was blind? She certainly wasn’t about to share him.

Or was that why he’d said he wanted to get to know her as a friend?

Having female friends was somehow acceptable, even if you did have a girlfriend.

Well, it wasn’t her idea of acceptable!

“Talking of down time,” Katherine added idly, “why aren’t you going out with that hunky Father Christmas yet?”

Startled that Katherine seemed to have tuned so effortlessly into her thoughts, Zoe jumped.

“That hunky Father Christmas already has a girlfriend. In case you hadn’t noticed.”

“No, he doesn’t.” Katherine’s eyebrows shot up. “And that’s straight from the horse’s mouth. Well, OK, he didn’t tell me himself. Elannah did.”

“Who’s Elannah?” Zoe asked.

“One of the elves. I know you’ve been in and out a lot lately, but you’ve met them, haven’t you? Elannah and Chloe?”

“Of course I’ve met them.” Though she hadn’t.

“They’re his cousins.” Katherine hesitated. “You didn’t think one of them was his girlfriend, did you?”

“Of course not.” Zoe could feel her face heating up to volcano temperature.

Had she just made the biggest blunder in the history of romance?

Poor Adam. He’d had the temerity to ask her out and she’d bitten his head off. No wonder she’d seen him dart into a shop doorway to avoid her yesterday.

She would have to find him and apologise.

He and his family had helped her enormously and she’d repaid them by being rude.

She glanced at the salon clock. Her next appointment wasn’t for half an hour.

“I’ve got to do something,” she called to Katherine. “I’ll be right back.”

A few minutes later she was at the Christmas shop.

This was where Mission Christmas had begun, she thought as she went into the tinsel-festooned emporium.

The strains of “Do They Know It’s Christmas” were barely audible under the murmur of chatter, and her nostrils were assailed by the spicy scents of a shelf full of candles just inside the door.

The grotto was at the back of the shop. Adam was probably knee deep in children.

She was the last person he’d want to see. Her courage almost failed her.

She threaded her way through the shoppers. There was no sign of Adam, although one of the elves was eating a sandwich.

She was about to retreat when the elf waved.

“Are you looking for Adam? He’s just –”

“I’m here,” Adam interrupted, materialising behind the elf. “What can I do for you?”

His voice was guarded, but she wasn’t surprised. She smiled nervously. “Adam. Hello. I’m here to . . .” She could feel her face reddening. “I’m here to apologise. I’ve been rude.”

“No, you haven’t.” His eyes remained guarded. “You’ve been totally professional. At all times.” She waved a hand. “I would like to go for a Christmas drink with you

– if the offer’s still open.”

Where had that come from? She’d only planned to apologise.

“I see.” For a moment she thought he was going to refuse, but then his eyes warmed and he nodded. “Are you free this evening?”

“No,” Zoe replied, thinking of the appointments that stretched out until late. “But I’m free tomorrow.”

“It’s a date.” Adam smiled.

From behind her, Zoe could hear the sound of clapping.

When she turned it was to see the elves – there were two of them now – grinning from ear to ear.

Maria hadn’t realised how distracted she was until the client she was massaging said, “Ouch.”

“I’m sorry,” Maria apologised. “That muscle was a little on the knotted side.”

For the rest of the session she concentrated on the job in hand and not on the subject that was uppermost in her mind: Noah.

On the night they’d gone ice-skating something had changed in her.

Maybe it had been building up before that, but that was the night it had come to a head.

“We need to decide what’s happening at Christmas, Noah. My parents were asking.”

This was not entirely accurate.

Her parents hadn’t mentioned Noah. They probably weren’t as oblivious to her on/off relationship as she had thought.

“I told you,” Noah had replied. “I’m waiting for a mate. I can’t confirm until then.”

“Well, phone him now.” Maria had surprised herself. “You’re not the only one in this relationship.”

He had looked surprised, as well he might. It was the first time she had ever demanded anything of him.

Noah hadn’t phoned. He hadn’t been happy, but for the first time Maria didn’t care.

The more she thought about it, the more she realised their relationship was a one-way street.

Noah did whatever he liked and she fitted around him.

She was amazed she hadn’t realised it before.

The next evening, when Noah had called round, Maria told him she didn’t think they had a future.

He started to bluster, but she stood firm. When he finally left, all she felt was relief.

She hadn’t told Katherine or Zoe yet as she wanted to process it herself first. They could catch up on