The Farmer & His Wife

John Taylor’s not the only one who forgets things.

AT 10 a.m. yesterday a police car drove into the yard. Out stepped the local sergeant.

“Is Mr Taylor about?” “Yes, he’s down the yard,” Anne told him. “Has he got a gun?” “Yes.”

“Well, he hasn’t got a licence for it.”

At that moment I arrived. I assured the sergeant I had applied for a certificate.

He showed me the form I should have filled in and I assured him I’d done so.

I soon discovered what had happened – the unposted envelope was stuck in the side of the grandfather clock.

The form had come early, so I’d filled it in, written the cheque and put it there ready for posting. And had forgotten all about it.

When the sergeant left Anne gave me the sharp edge of her tongue, but I recalled a similar incident from years ago . . .

Anne was the farm scribe and kept the books. She saw that the car, tractor and wireless tax and licences were all renewed.

One day when I came in for lunch I saw Anne was worried about something.

“There’s a new policeman in Kingsbarns,” she began. “He’s young and looking for promotion. And he was here.”

“Well, what did he want?” “He called to check the stock movement book and I couldn’t find it!”

At that time, it was compulsory to keep a movement book for when we moved any animals off the farm. I could have laughed, but Anne was so worried that I went across and gave her a kiss.

She burst into tears. “It’s my fault, John. I put it somewhere and now I can’t think where!”

We spent that evening looking everywhere: behind the clock; the pot cupboard; inside the mantelpiece ornaments and even in the piano stool.

We found it eventually in Anne’s “engagement ring”. We hadn’t much money when we were courting and I gave her a sewing machine in place of a ring.

How it got there I could never fathom. I don’t suppose it will be the last time we mislay something.

To be honest, I’ve mislaid my driving licence, but I daren’t tell Anne! ■