Polly Pullar’s lighthearted look at rural life
Renowned nature writer Polly Pullar takes a lighthearted look at rural life.
IT’S now six years since my mother passed away, just before Mother’s Day in 2014, a week after her eighty-fifth birthday. She didn’t enjoy the last decade of her life and struggled with a long spell in hospital at the end, but was mostly unaware that she was even there.
It was very hard for Freddy and me – we are a relatively small family.
Even now, when something exciting or funny happens, I still find myself thinking for a split second that I will give Mum a ring.
Or I may be out and see something I think she would like, and there is a lump in my throat. This will never change.
Mother’s Day has always been exceptional for us as a family. It’s a day to be spoiled, to have breakfast in bed, to let a hardgrafting mother rest.
Latterly, when Mum was mostly housebound, we visited her for one of her famous afternoon teas – grandiose affairs with the best china and a fabulous array of goodies.
In previous years I used to take Mum out.
Once we went for tea at the luxurious five-star Gleneagles Hotel.
We were disappointed and agreed that her afternoon teas were far better.
Mother’s Day has had a long, chequered history. Though we all think of it as a special day for mothers, it didn’t start like this.
Here, it began as a religious festival during the 16th century and was celebrated on the fourth Sunday in Lent to commemorate the Mother Church.
It became known as “Mothering Sunday”, and even servants were allowed a day off to return to their mother church and to be with their families.
A Simnel cake, now often associated with Easter, was a rich fruitcake usually made to eat after the special service.
Eventually, the day became a necessary time to be with mothers all around the country.
The founding of Mother’s Day both in this country and America is complicated and has, surprisingly, involved controversy.
In America, Anna Jarvis founded it in 1908 as a day to honour her mother, a militant peace activist.
It was not until 1914 that US President Woodrow Wilson officially recognised it.
Later, Jarvis rebelled against Mother’s Day – she was furious that a day she wanted uniquely to honour mothers had turned into a vast commercial enterprise.
Mother’s Day here is indeed very commercial, too.
The price of flowers, cards and chocolates has become exorbitant.
This year Mother’s Day might be quite different, as it may not be possible to gather or to spend it with our mothers or children – the most essential aspect of this special day.
I still have all the cards Freddy made for me when he was little, and these I will always treasure.
In recent years, Freddy, who is incredibly attentive about birthdays, Christmas and Mother’s Day, has always asked what we should do.
My answer is still the same, and we spend the day together walking in the hills with the dogs somewhere beautiful.
Freddy makes a fantastic picnic, and carries it! It’s always a fabulous day whatever the weather.
This year Mother’s Day is on Sunday March 14.
As our lives remain uncertain due to the pandemic, it can be hard to make plans.
Last year we walked in the Ochil Hills on a windy day when primroses and the beautiful coltsfoot stippled the bare ground, and we had long panoramic views sweeping for miles.
My grandmother Bo, Mum’s mother, said to me that you should always tell people how much you love and appreciate them as if today is the last day you might see them.
It’s some of the best advice she ever gave me.
Bo was the kindest and happiest person I have ever met. She lived until she was nearly ninety-one and we shared the same birthday – I still miss her.
So, even if you cannot spend time with your mother or children this year, you can write and tell them how much you love them, or you can ring or have a video call.
Of course, it won’t be the same as seeing someone in person, but a hand-written letter can be read over and over and can be treasured.
Letter writing has become so rare, yet I will always feel that it is a necessary and lovely form of communication. ■
We’ll take another “Breath Of Country Air” in Mar 27 issue.