Don’t let a conflict at work do damage to your career

Knowing how to handle a difficult situation will make a big difference to your working environment

Conflict in the workplace is often unavoidable and can take many forms.

It could be a problem between an employeeandamanager,adisagreement between co-workers, or an individual with an axe to grind.

In a survey conducted by the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD), one in three UK employees had experienced some form of interpersonal conflict at work, while one in four had isolated disputes or clashes, and a further one in four reported ongoing difficult relationships.

Workplace conflicts are commonplace, then, but you can learn to how to handle them effectively.

“Don’t feel you have to come up withtheperfectanswerallthetime,” says career coach Corrine Mills. “Share problem-solving responsibility so that you get the people affected actively involved in creating their own solutions.

“They are far more likely to want to make it work if they feel they have had input into making it work.”

Disagreements can get heated, but Corrine advises keeping a cool head:“Watch the emotion. Don’t get so hung up on practical solutions that you miss the emotional subtext whichsooftenrevealswhattheissue is really about – such as mistrust, or not feeling respected.

“Be direct and they are far more likely to tell you the truth about what the basis of that anger is – and it may be nothing to do with the issue you are discussing.”

Sometimes, tempers boil over and it seems like no solution is in sight. When this happens, it’s time to stop the discussion.

“If things are getting really heated and difficult, then it’s time to call the proceedings to a halt and suggest youmeetupagainwhentempersare cooled,” says Corrine. “There is a real danger of irreparable damage if thingsgettoapointwhenpeoplewill say things they regret.”

When picking up the discussion make sure it’s structured.

“Ask people to prepare their comments so they’re able to make focused points rather than wildly rambling,” says Corrine.

“Give each person clear, uninterruptedtimetomaketheirpointsand ensure everyone listens.

“Thisallowspeopletofeelthey’ve said all they want and have been listened to. Often this is enough to defuse the conflict.”

Another tactic is to summarise back to them the points they have made in their argument, making sure you use their exact words.

“You’re not saying that you agree with their points, but just showing that you have really listened to what they’ve said,” says Corrine. “This can be a very powerful way to reduce the tension in a conflict situation.”

“There is a real danger of irreparable damage if things get to a point when people will say things they regret.”

Corrine Mills Career coach