Make it a gre start to scho

Thousands of children are taking their first steps into formal education as schools reopen after the summer holidays. Fiona Evans looks at how families can make a smooth transition.

With the onset of autumn comes the scuffing of new shoes as children skip and traipse to school.

Among them are the new starters- often easy to spot by their too-big, spotless uniforms and tiny hands clutching their grown-ups.

Both daunting and exciting, starting school is a milestone for the hordes of four and five-year-olds entering formal education - as well as for their parents and carers.

Emma Alam, a senior marketing manager, recalls her sons, Elijah, seven, and Ethan, six, making the move.

“My overwhelming feeling when Elijah went to school was ‘finally,’” said Emma, 43. “As a September baby he was always going to be one of the eldest in the year and was completely ready to take the next step. Obviously I still had a wobble on the day when I saw him stood proudly in his new uniform and I admit to tears in the car after I dropped him off at school but I knew he was ready to start his primary school journey.

“I felt completely differently when a year later my youngest child, a July baby, walked into his new classroom. He just seemed too little to be starting school. Looking back I also think that this was a pivotal moment for me as a mum. I worked parttime and had always filled my days away from my office job with activities that involved the children. When Ethan started school it felt like a void and a turning point in them becoming children rather than babies.

“I quickly realised however that a school day is a short day. Both children settled into school life quickly. I always imagined that Elijah would settle but I quickly discovered that my initial concern for Ethan was unnecessary. Teachers recognise the differences between the youngest and oldest students in the year and flex their approach accordingly.”

Giving children plenty of opportunities to talk about starting school, allowing them to share their excitement and any worries, is important according to James Bowen, a director of the National Association of Head Teachers.

“Parents can also talk to their child about what to expect from school,” he said. “It’s important to remember not to make any assumptions, we’ve been to school so we have a frame of reference in our minds, but to the child it’s an entirely new experience.

“Try to avoid brushing over anxieties or telling them ‘not to worry’. Far better to engage and talk about their concerns with them as it’s quite likely you’ll be able to alleviate them by talking about them.”

Helping children to develop their independence by ensuring they can put on their shoes and take them off, get changed for PE and use the toilet by themselves is also beneficial.

“For teachers, it’s those sorts of social and self-care skills that are much more important than ‘academic preparation’,” said James. “However, if parents are interested in this side of things, there really is nothing better than sharing books with your child. Similarly playing about with numbers and words can help. The key is to make it enjoyable at this stage and not make learning feel like a chore.”

Parents are advised to introduce themselves to their child’s teacher as early as possible.

“On the first day, often the parents are more anxious than the child,” said James. “Again, this is perfectly normal – after all it’s a momentous day for your family, but it’s important to try and guard against passing on your anxieties to your child. “Remember that your child is likely to be very tired after the first few weeks at school.”

For parents of multiples there may be other considerations too.

Tamba (Twins and Multiple Births Association) head of family and professional support, Helen Turier, said: “The key is giving twins and triplets the confidence to correct people if they get their names wrong or if they refer to them as ‘the twins’ or ‘the triplets’. Practise this at home and make it fun for the children. The key is their individuality.

“A common problem is that the confident one or capable one is told to look after the less confident one. It’s important to keep a close eye on this as they should not feel like they are their same-age sibling’s caretaker long-term. Parents and teachers can help the ‘cared for’ twin develop more independence and selfconfidence. So individual play dates can be encouraged.”

For those returning to school after the summer holidays, one of the biggest challenges can be trying to re-establish a healthy sleep pattern. “Routine is key to children feeling ready for bed at a suitable time and waking up feeling refreshed,” said Silentnight’s sleep expert, Dr Nerina Ramlakhan. “After six weeks of irregularity, the sooner you begin to reintroduce a regular bedtime routine, the sooner all the family can fall back into a healthy sleep pattern.”

As Emma’s boys return to school she has these words for those starting out on the journey her family began several years ago: “I’m not sure that you can prepare yourself for how grown up they look in their uniform and that little wave goodbye as they go into the classroom. I’d just say take a pack of tissues with you just in case and maybe arrange to meet a friend for a coffee so that you don’t go back to an empty house.

“Overall my advice is to embrace it; it’s going to happen, they’re going to grow up whether we as parents like it or not. They’ll make new friends, you’ll probably make new friends too so enjoy it. After all, it won’t be long until they start high school.”

‘The key is to make it enjoyable at this stage and not make learning feel like a chore’