HERE’S TO YOU, SIR...

Irascible, cantankerous, irritable, belligerent and outspoken, but innovative, inspirational, loyal, sporty and worshipped as a “god” by some. But that’s enough about me. OK, the bit about being worshipped is an exaggeration. I’ve never asked Mrs F if she sees me as some kind of deity. More likely it’s as some kind of devil.

We can only dream of reaching the amazing 73 married years achieved by the Queen and Prince Philip, though. I don’t think the racks of cards in the supermarket will carry many for marking platinum anniversaries.

In the thousands of articles, tributes and reminiscences about Prince Philip was a line I saw which said the only complaint he had about his wife was the amount of time she spent on the phone. Presumably, that was time he would rather have had her listen to him.

It’s something common to many couples, though, especially nowadays when using the phone no longer means sitting at a wee table in the hall in the freezing cold next to the ubiquitous GPO instrument, with its circular numbered dial, which was firmly and immovably wired into a wall socket, typically located in an inconvenient place in the house. Everyone could hear what you were saying, too.

Today, many folk have one hand constantly on their mobile phone or TV remote control, pausing only to munch their teatime takeaway, cutlery-free, with their other hand.

I don’t watch much TV, so Mrs F is generally good about letting me use the remote and only occasionally flips channels when she thinks I’m not looking. When it comes to her smartphone, though, it’s a different story. If I have something to ask her, I’d probably be quicker messaging her for a reply than interrupting her frantic flying fingers as she scrolls through the internet or keeps in constant touch with all and sundry by text.

It seems unlikely that the Queen ever spent hours on a monarchic mobile over her morning Earl Grey and cornflakes, or interrupted audiences with the PM to answer a notification beep, but if she had I’m sure her husband would have had something to say about it.

Wouldn’t it have been fun if they’d been on the Buckingham Palace balcony waving during some grand state occasion when she suddenly dived into her handbag to check her mobile? Prince Philip would not have been amused.

In fact, he did an excellent impression of often being less than amused by the role he was dealt, constantly two paces behind his wife.

His legendary outrageous remarks and sarcastic wit were passed off as “gaffes”, but according to my dictionary, a gaffe is “an unintentional act or remark causing embarrassment to its originator; a blunder”. I don’t think he ever suffered embarrassment from his pointed comments or considered them a blunder. He was probably quite delighted by the reaction they generated.

It’s strange, though, that as the week of national mourning concludes this afternoon at Windsor Castle, many people will look back affectionately at Prince Philip’s quirky quips which, were they to be uttered today by a younger royal, would cause a scandal and demands for instant retribution.

There seems to be an age in life when indignant slides into indulgence. Can you imagine what the indignant social media brigade would say if Prince William asked an Oban driving instructor how they kept the natives sober long enough to pass the test, or told a Stornoway police officer that they looked like a suicide bomber? Definitely non-PC.

But many look back at Prince Philip’s comments indulgently and perhaps even admiringly. Maybe it was his position, maybe his age, but he usually got away with it.

I wonder if that would have been the case had it been Mrs F in the firing line when he said: “British women can’t cook.” That would have been bravery to eclipse anything he achieved in the Navy. He might not have survived to the age of 99 as a result.

We have a new Duke of Edinburgh now of course, Prince Charles, and when he becomes king, Prince Edward will inherit the title. But today marks the end of an era.

We won’t see Prince Philip’s like again.

ROYAL LINE: Prince Philip, above, complained about the Queen spending too much time on the phone, just like the rest of us now.