Widower’ s fundraising event will be a fitting tribute to his late wife

Scott Macpherson lost his wife, Carole, to secondary breast cancer in 2020 – just nine months after diagnosis.

After having to say goodbye to her two years ago, Mr Macpherson decided to give his wife a “good send-off” and raise awareness about the disease that took her life.

He said: “Everybody thinks that if you get breast cancer nowadays, you get a treatment and it’s going to be rosy, but that didn’t help us.”

Mrs Macpherson had stage three breast cancer in 2018 when the family were living in Dubai. After treatment she was declared cancer-free 10 months later.

However, at her next blood test a few months later something was wrong. It was then she was diagnosed with an incurable metastatic breast cancer (MBC), secondary breast cancer of the liver.

Mr Macpherson, 56, said: “Normally it spreads though the body – lungs, brain, bones, liver – and there is treatment but there’s no cure.

“It never even entered my mind or Carole’s, we didn’t think she was going to die from it.”

A short nine months later having moved back to Aberdeen, Mrs Macpherson was admitted to hospital after her liver had stopped functioning.

“We really didn’t know how far she had deteriorated,” said Mr Macpherson. “She called me in the morning and she said, ‘The doctor says I have low blood pressure and they’re going to struggle.’

“And I said, ‘Struggle with what?’ She said, ‘To keep me alive.’”

At this point, their son, Ross, had not been told about Mrs Macpherson’s diagnosis.

Mr Macpherson said: “I had to go and wake Ross up and tell him unfortunately, his mum was really ill and we had to go and see her.”

Carole died later that day with her husband and son by her side. She was 51.

Mr Macpherson said the grief hit him hard. He said “It’s been horrendous. I’m lucky I’ve got my son, he keeps me busy.

“I underestimated it. After she passed away, I felt like I was going to die.”

Due to Covid, they were only able to have a small funeral with 20 people in attendance.

However, the Bridge of Don resident said he received messages from people online, some of them with hilarious stories about Mrs Macpherson’s “wicked sense of humour”.

After reflecting on his wife’s character he decided to organise an event to remember her.

Mr Macpherson said: “I’d never really heard of secondary breast cancer. I think one of the reasons I decided to have the event was one, Carole was such a selfless person, really always thinking of others.

“And I think I was a bit angry about people’s perception of breast cancer nowadays, and we’re guilty, all of us are guilty. We almost think that breast cancer’s like the flu.

“My wife was lucky, all through her treatment she didn’t have to work.

“There’s people that are working with secondary breast cancer who need chemotherapy once a week. They’ve got families, they’ve got jobs. It must be unbelievably tough.

“My message is if you have friends or a family member with cancer support them as much as you can because it can turn into secondary breast cancer.”

Metastatic breast cancer is when the cancer has travelled from the primary breast site through the blood or lymphatic system to another area of the body.

While there is treatment, it is currently incurable. The average life expectancy of those with MBC is two to three years.

Mr Macpherson hopes the Carole Macpherson Memorial Fundraiser at Meldrum House on May 19 will be a good “send-off ”.

He added: “If you knew Carole you’d understand why I was doing it. She would probably laugh but she was an amazing person. And loads of people felt that way.

“She always found the good in everyone, and that’s the type of person she was. So I think she deserves this event, a good send-off.”

All money raised will go to support METUPUK and Make2ndsCount.

MEMORIAL: Scott Macpherson is holding a fundraising and awareness event in memory of his late wife, Carole.

The couple with son Ross.

Carole and Scott.