Diner’s insults and bad service could make for a rare nicht oot

Tanya wondered who would pay to feel bad – then remembered the away Dons fans

TANYA SOUTER, LIFESTYLE CORRESPONDENT

I da ken about youse, but I hinna been oot tae a restaurant in ages. I dinna ken if it’s the lingering effects o’ lockdoon, the ever rising cost o’ living, or the fact that if it’s nae Maccy D’s, my kids turn up their noses, run riot and start playing table tennis wi’ the contents o’ the salad bar.

Plus, ither diners aye mak me feel uncomfortable. They’re ayewiz looking over, and tutting and kicking up a stink faniver I light up a fag. I da ken fit the problem is. I only dae it atween courses, nae files I’m eating. I’m nae a savage.

The last swanky meal oot I hid wis fan a Tinder date taen me tae ‘Six by Nico’ on Union Street. It dis fit ye cry ‘nouvelle cuisine’. Ye get six courses but they’re a’ roughly the size o’ a custard cream. I mean, it wis fine, but ye’d need tae hae yer tea afore ye ging.

But I seen this wik that a new place cried ‘Karen’s Diner’, fit specialises in deliberately rude staff and terrible service, is aboot tae ‘pop-up’ in Aiberdeen.

Apparently the hale thing started as videos on TikTok, like maist things fit I dinna understand these days. I suppose it maks a change fae folk pretending tae be Wednesday Addams, or duncing tae speeded up pop songs. Fit’s the world coming til, eh? A few years ago we wiz aghast at an online video o’ some wifie pitting a cat in a wheelie bin. Nooadays someb’dy wid jist stick it on TikTok wi’ Carly Jepsen daein chipmunk vocals o’er it.

Onywye, this place far ye pey tae get treated like dirt is part restaurant, part entertainment. Folk bring their unsuspecting chums along and film their reactions fan they get abused by the staff. Fit a laugh, eh? I’d be tempted tae rock up wi’ my pal Big Sonya, and jist sit back and video the fireworks. I bet she’d ging viral. Or, at least, something very like it.

I wondered, though, is there really enough folk oot there fa wid pey good money tae ging somewye they ken they’ll be made tae feel angry and frustrated? Then I minded aboot the twa thoosand folk fa still turn up to see the Dons awa fae hame!

CAVA KENNY CORDINER, THE FOOTBALL PUNDIT WHO HOOTS FROM THE SHIP

Supporting Aberdeen is a bit like raising a moody teenager. One minute they is the apple pie of your eye, then the next they leave you crying your hair out.

Ever since football restarted after the World Cup, the Dons has been mince. Actually – that’s unfair, because Old Kenny loves a plate of mince, so I need to use a different meteor. Got it – the Dons has been offal.

Don’t not get me wrong – they has had their moments. Like nearly nicking a draw off Celtic, and nearly beating The Rangers, but when shove came to push, the Dandies bottled it and managed to snap the jaws of the feet of victory.

This has been a real roller-skater of a

week. Like most of the Red Army who made the trip to Hampden on Sunday, Old Kenny didn’t give Aberdeen a ghoster against The Rangers.

But the performance was a turnip for the books. If you’d have had told me before the game that we’d be going in 1-0 up at half time, I wouldn’t have not believed you. Especially if you also said you was a time traveller who had come from the future to tell me the score at half-time in the League Cup semi.

But things soon returned to business as normal when former Dons Ryan Jack and Scott Wright was interdental in giving The Rangers the spoils.

It didn’t help when Captain Stewart got his jotters for totally halfing some boy on the touchline at the end of the 90 minutes. Old Kenny always likes a reducer of a challenge, but even I thunk that Stewart had lost the place and deserved a straight red.

There’s a time and a place for challenges like that, and it’s two minutes into a game what is not in front of TV cameras and when the officials is all looking the wrong way.

Then things hit rock bottom on Wednesday when The Reds got stuffed 5-0 by Hearts down at Tiny Castle. Well, I for one think that is unacceptable and I hope gaffer Goodwin got sent to the naughty step by chairman Cormack.

Goodwin’s jacket must be on the shoogliest of pegs now, and all eyes will be on our potential bandana-skin cup tie with Darvel on Monday. If the Ayrshire outfit pull off a shockeroo, I think the next thing Goodwin slices open won’t be the opponent’s defence – it’ll be the envelope containing his P45.

This place far ye pey tae get treated like dirt is part entertainment

NAE SO FINE: Karen’s Diner will be bringing its unique style of customer service to Aberdeen with a pop-up restaurant opening soon.