As the SNP fell apart the ‘new’ leader used his policy bazooka to vaporise extremism

So, goodbye then, Humza Yousaf. was an interesting 13 months.

The sudden departure of Nicola Sturgeon did not leave you much to be going on with, being shackled to a party that proved itself to be so extremist and uncaring about people’s livelihoods that its crazy policies would have vaporised, had they been implemented. Your hat was always on a shoogly peg.

Then, last week, you decided the way forward for the SNP was to go it alone and get a quickie divorce. Push back the emissions target dates. Boom. That rattled them.

Then end the Bute House accord. Boomboom. Watch them take the huff and head out into the rain. Boom-boom-boom. Job an’ finish, as they used to say in these parts.

Alas, hell hath no fury like a Scottish Green scorned, and they swooped back for the jugular – a vengeful vote of confidence, or something in that vein.

Smelling blood, Scottish Labour, too, couldn’t resist questioning the confidence parliament had in your entire party. Boom. Referee Ross took a side. Boom-boom. That was enough.

You were “considering” your next move, but you were undoubtedly already planning a holiday in 28 days’ time. The Hebrides are nice at the end of May. Come up and see us sometime. You were up a couple of weeks ago but that was business.

Come with me to the Criterion Bar and meet George Gawk. He says he’s still Labour, but he will happily discuss what is wrong with any party. It’s what he does. He will also talk about sheep. He’s always done that, too.

Listen, Humza – can I call you ’Za? Well, I’ve been doing that for a while anyway. I’m not a party political type, but, because I scribble, many people ask who I think will follow you. My first thought was wee Katag Forbes. Yet, I am not sure Scotland is ready for uncompromising Free Church-type truths.