Verdict is in after ex-lawyer launches self-storage firm

Space saver: As former Aberdeen University student opens keyless storage business, the question has to be asked: Do we really need all this stuff?

Space, the final frontier. Now I know that James T Kirk wasn’t on about the cosmos but about the last great business idea, namely where to put all our stuff.

An Aberdeen University graduate has quit the law to instead launch a highly user-friendly self-storage facility.

This news stopped me in my tracks as I tried to make room for a cup of tea between the piles of books and papers on my desk.

I wondered: What do his parents make of it? How much is a shed-sized unit? And why are the best ideas always so simple?

ROWS OVER THE AMOUNT OF CLUTTER

Goodness knows I’ve had many frustrating dealings with self-storage outlets in the past.

This typically follows a row in our house over the amount of clutter, who it belongs to and why did we buy such a massive dining table?

As much as I love that table, with its gorgeous reclaimed wood and complicated mechanics for the extension leaf, it is the proverbial last straw in our already overloaded modest abode.

We currently have a situation resembling a house of cards; one more table lamp or hardback book and the whole lot could collapse.

Something’s got to give and we usually realise this in late December, when we’ve got guests for Hogmanay and nowhere to put them because every room is stuffed to the gunwales.

Any attempt to declutter leaves me feeling like Richard Dreyfuss in Close Encounters of The Third Kind – exhausted and bewildered by the mountain I’ve created in the middle of the living room floor.

DRAINING DISCUSSION WITH STORAGE EXPERT

At that point, I admit defeat and reach for the phone to get a quote for self-storage.

How I’d love to simply shove it all out of sight and be able to open a door without it immediately closing behind me due to the volume of coats hanging on the back of it.

There then follows several failed attempts to work out how much space I need by trying to recall school maths for calculating volumes and lots of faffing about with a tape measure.

I usually discover that the smallest and least expensive option is not going to cut it and what I need is a space roughly the size of a Transit van.

Then they tell me the price and I wonder if it wouldn’t be cheaper to actually just buy a Transit van, fill it with all my books and table lamps and park it at the front door.

It would be like having my own mobile library. I can see myself in there on a Sunday afternoon, sitting on a bag of clothes I’ll never wear, surrounded by ornaments I can’t part with and reading Bill Bryson’s Notes From a Small Island for the fourth time.

SPOTTING A GAP IN THE MARKET

Brian Barbour, right, has invested £140,000 to set up Storage Den in Bridge of Don industrial estate, having spotted a gap in the market.

I can believe this because I recently read an article about side hustles, and renting out your shed, loft or garage as storage space was top of the list.

How on Earth did we all end up with so much stuff ? The truth of the matter is we probably don’t need 90% of it.

I once rented storage space at a facility in Glasgow and the guy told me that most customers don’t actually return for their things from one year to the next.

When I asked what was in most of the units, he pointed in different directions and said: “Christmas trees. Christmas trees. Christmas trees.”

I know this must be true because I’m currently storing three Christmas trees in the cupboard on my landing.

SELF-STORAGE STORY IS QUITE MAGICAL

He also told me an astonishing story about one of the company’s outlets near Edinburgh that I would love to think is true.

One of the biggest units, the size of a tennis court, had been rented to store just one item. An ornate, heavy wooden desk sits alone in the middle of the vast space, its owner a famous writer.

I’ll not name names, but let’s just say there’s a chance the desk made its way there by magic.

If only all our clutter could disappear at the wave of a wand.

One more lamp or book and the whole thing could collapse

SIDE HUSTLE: Apparently, renting out your loft, shed or garage for someone else’s clutter is a handy way to make a little extra cash these days.