Columnists:

Yvie Burnett

London is scaring me right now. Not for myself but for Ollie. There is a spate of stabbings taking place which has meant that London has overtaken New York in these grim statistics. Just today a man was stabbed on a train a mile from Ollie’s flat. Of course we have to get things into prospective and there are many millions of people living in London.

A mother like me who wants to know exactly what their grown-up kids are doing is called a helicopter parent apparently because they are hovering around all the time and checking they are fine. I had to laugh though when the other day the roles were reversed and I had phone calls from Emily and Ollie checking my whereabouts after a very late party.

I had an aftershow party on a boat which wouldn’t be my first choice of a venue, mainly because I feel very queasy on boats, so the thought of having anything to eat on there or having a few drinks didn’t sound ideal.

I needn’t have worried though because I found out that a trip down the river Thames while dancing non-stop to old school disco music and having a couple of glasses of Prosecco is a great way to eliminate sea sickness. I felt great and actually kept forgetting I was on a boat.

We didn’t dock until 2am though, so on account of the time I got back to my hotel and ended up sleeping in until 10am the next morning and woke up to both children asking if I was OK. My regular morning text asking if everyone was fine was a bit late!

Oh dear, I’ve turned them into worriers too.

So anyway I’m not sure that I suddenly have acquired sea legs though.

I’m not rushing to book any cruises.

My experiences on being on water haven’t been great. I will never forget a school trip where we all went on the ferry to Belgium.

In those days no one was a fussy eater.

We weren’t used to lots of meals out and so we just enjoyed what we were given.

I can’t remember the main course on the ferry but tinned fruit salad and ice cream is not a combination I could ever eat again. When asked to go on a posh boat outing in Mallorca with friends I of course was dubious but I figured it certainly wouldn’t be as rough as a ferry on the North Sea.

I also figured that if I didn’t eat anything on board it might help.

I quite liked it for the first half hour but soon I began to hate the constant slight swaying and thought a few bumps and large waves might actually have been more pleasant. Eventually, even though we were half a mile out to sea, I told everyone I had to leave and promptly dived into the sea and swam back to shore. It was all safe because it was very calm waters but the bit I hadn’t allowed for stupidly was the fact I would then be stranded in my bikini in the little sea front town with no phone and no money for a couple of hours until they got back! It was a small price to pay and I just topped up my suntan on the beach and was glad not to be swaying any more.

Anyway, I survived my late night at sea (well on the Thames) but I did end up being late for work the next day unfortunately.

I got up, packed my case, got in the shower and had plenty of time to spare until the fire alarm in the hotel went off. I ignored it thinking it was a fire drill because there was no way I was heading outside in a towel.

However, when I looked out of the window and saw crowds of evacuated people outside I threw on my coat and headed out. It was what was called a full scale trial evacuation. A fact which didn’t help my excuse at all. Of course no one believed me at work when I said I was delayed by a fire alarm the day after a late party! Have a good week,

Yvie X