The Woman In White (BBC1) The Split (BBC1)

The BBC drama department unveiled two new series this week that, although being set almost 200 years apart, had pretty much the same theme – that the male of the human species is a despicable wretch.

First up was a splendid adaptation of The Woman In White, Wilkie Collins’s 1859 bodice-ripper, complete with a dastardly moustachioed toff, a gloomy mansion and several vulnerable maidens.

It was clear from the start that the story would not have a happy ending. When Jessie Buckley’s Marian first appeared dressed in mourning gear and seeking justice for a loved one, we knew that there would be tears before bedtime and, indeed, if the clips from next week’s episode are anything to go by, even more tears during bedtime.

The way that the evil Sir Percival (Dougray Scott in his best RP accent) was mauling the lovely Laura in front of that mirror suggested it’s not only her money he’s after.

The only halfdecent male in the story so far is Walter Hartwright (the clue is in the surname), a young and very pretty artist who is lured away from his idyllic London existence with the promise of much gold in return for restoring some paintings belonging to a Cumberland-based aristocrat, played with relish by Charles Dance.

Walter must also give drawing lessons to Dance’s two feisty nieces – the aforementioned Marian and the lovely

Laura, who we learn has been promised to Sir Percy by her father.

Before setting off for Cumbria on Stephenson’s Rocket, Walter bumps into a young lady dressed in white. She seems in some distress, but before Walter can come to her aid, she jumps into a hansom cab and takes off into the night.

startled more mysterious On than arrival to a discover woman passing in Cumbria, in resemblance that white. Laura Walter bears to the is

both a novel This parts isn’t device are all that played and surprising one by Olivia sure given to Vinall, keep that the performances show’s accountants for the price happy of one. – It’s two a credit to both the actress and the makeup department that I wasn’t aware of this doubling up until I read about it.

Walter falls head-over-heels for Laura, and she for him, but, with Sir Percy waxing his tash in the background, the future doesn’t look too bright for the young lovers.

It’s all good stuff. The performances are spot on and the scenery makes a splendid backdrop, but then it was all shot in Co Down where I grew up. I could swear I recognised the sand dunes I used to play in. W hile Ben Hardy’s Walter in TWIW flew the flag for his gender, none of the male characters in The Split had a single redeeming feature. Set in the world of high-end divorce lawyers, the story revolves around a mother and her three daughters. The eldest daughter, Hannah (Nicola Walker) has quit her mother’s company to join an even bigger legal conglomerate, much to the annoyance of her mother and middle sister Nina. The mother, Rose (Fiona Button) refused to give up her crown as “the doyenne of divorce lawyers” and is determined to bring Hannah to heel. Talking of heels, Hannah spots her father, Oscar (Anthony Head) while on her way to work one day, but she ignores his attempted greeting and flounces off. It seems Oscar went out for a newspaper 30 years earlier and never came back. Hannah has never forgiven him. Indeed, in a later scene, she tells him he is dead to her. This does seem a tad hypocritical on Hannah’s part. Hasn’t she just walked out on her mother, too? One look at Rose and no jury in the land would blame Oscar for doing a runner. Rose’s expression could make milk turn sour at a hundred paces. Of all the miserable examples of manhood, Stephen Tompkinson’s multi-millionaire businessman takes the biscuit. He brings his unsuspecting wife into Hannah’s office and then breaks the news that he is divorcing her, while crying like a baby. His wife looks totally surprised, although why she thought her husband had asked her to accompany him to a divorce lawyer’s office, if he wasn’t going to divorce her, was never explained. Later he boobed again when he left the receipt for his girlfriend’s breast implant operation in an open safe. Worse still, the girlfriend was one of his wife’s best friends. Meanwhile, Hannah is being pursued by an old flame, a dashingly handsome work colleague and divorcee that Hannah’s flighty sister fancies. Yes, everybody fancies everybody else. Stephen Mangan plays Hannah’s husband, a smug, rather empty-headed sort of an eejit, who looks as if he just strolled on to the wrong set. I don’t know what his agent was thinking about when he put him up for the part. The star of Episodes will no doubt be glad to put this episode in his career far behind him. I insisted on Herself watching this with me to get the female slant, but she was extremely underwhelmed. If it’s your bag, good luck with it. I think I’ll pass.

“THE WAY EVIL SIR PERCIVAL WAS MAULING THE LOVELY LAURA SUGGESTED IT’S NOT ONLY HER MONEY HE’S AFTER”