If you believe Labour’s latest vows then I’m selling a nearly new iPad case you’d love

Afew years back, I was looking for a nifty new keyboard case for my iPad, and saw an absolute bargain on a website. Only thing was, when it arrived, it turned out to be battered and clapped-out and not much use. It wasn’t mint at all, but a refurb job, and a poor one at that. That little detail of “new to you” was buried deep in the small print.

Fast forward to today, and I’m looking for a new keyboard case again.

That same website is still offering bargain bits of kit. So, I’m going to buy from them again.

What’s that you say? They’re playing you for a mug? You’d be a fool to trust them again?

Which is true. So, why would anyone in their right mind buy into Gordon Brown’s Vow Mark II?

Back in 2014, the Labour grandee was the architect of the promise that Scotland didn’t need to go its own way because it was going to lead the UK in a union of equal nations. And, oh boy, look at all those extra powers that were going to let Scotland control its own destiny.

Why go down the independence path and get chucked out of the EU and watch all your food and heating bills soar while your social care network is trashed?

It was manifestly obvious we would be better together, especially with The Vow.

Now, here we are in 2022, looking back with 20:20 hindsight at the utter wasteland of Brexit, and a cost of living crisis. All of that with a succession of increasingly rightwing Tory prime ministers Scotland never voted for.

Yet, here’s Gordon Brown, rolling out a new package of promises from Labour, being fronted by Sir Keir Starmer as the “biggest ever transfer of power from Westminster”.

We can say cheerio to the House of Lords and hello to devolution on steroids, to give Scotland a proper, democratic standing, with Holyrood having far more fiscal autonomy and a huge voice.

To coin a lovely Scottish expression: “Aye, right.”

For a start, if Scotland wants to get rid of the House of Lords, control its own economy and take its place on the world stage as we steer our own destiny, there’s a rather more elegant way of doing it than hoping for scraps from Westminster’s table.

The solemn vow of 2014 was empty smoke and mirrors – and the one we are seeing today will prove to be exactly the same hollow promise.

And, if you don’t think that’s the case, then I’ve got a brand new (to you) iPad case here you might want to buy.