Coarse fillies are now the outsiders at Ascot

IN THE hit Hollywood musical My FairLady the ultimate test for Eliza Doolittle is a trip to Ascot. The Covent Garden flower girl, a “deliciously low” guttersnipe, wants to climb the social ladder and so, she must learn to speak like a lady, act like a lady and dress like a lady. It’s all a lot frothier than Shaw’s Edwardian morality play Pygmalion but the songs aren’t half bad. In fact, this Lerner and Loewe number sums up Ascot still:

The revised rules follow growing criticism of the bad-taste outfits which have threatened to sully the reputation of Europe’s flagship race meeting in recent years. Having seen some of the sartorial choices on show at the Grand National, who can blame Ascot officials for getting on their high horse?

They’ve declared war on miniskirts, lycra, plunging necklines and fake tans. Muffin tops should definitely not be seen wobbling when the favourite romps home, Pimms is for sipping, not downing, and race-goers may only be sick after they leave. (The last bit might not be in the rule book but that’s what they mean.)

Even Channel4News debated the new Ascot rules this week, somewhere between the violence in Syria and the economic woes of the eurozone. They pitted former footballer’s wife Lizzie Cundy against the woman who teaches etiquette to coarse young women on the TV show LadettetoLady.

Both women agreed that Ascot was all about the fashion but clashed over the need for standards. The glamorous Lizzie complained bitterly that she had to lengthen her skirt.

She obviously hasn’t been paying attention to the changing mood in the Wag camp. The wives and girlfriends of the England squad have been rather restrained in Poland during Euro 2012. Gone are the tiny skirts, giant sunglasses and breast implants of Baden-Baden six years ago. New tournament, new look. Even the permanently bronzed Coleen Rooney looked a shade paler as she arrived for a minishopping break in Krakow. Sorry, I mean as she arrived in Krakow to cheer Wayne on. But like a modern-day Eliza Doolittle, Coleen is a regular at the races. An Aintree girl at heart, she’s still the hot favourite in the fashion stakes. She probably wouldn’t be seen dead swathed in a pashmina at the stuffy Royal Ascot anyway. But if Ascot has taught us anything this year, it’s how to get more, not less exposure.

It’s been a master class in hype and marketing. It banks on the women who parade through its paddock in their glad rags and really, who cares about the horse flesh anyway?