Key to happiness is being ourselves – but that’s not easy
It’s time to stop, take time, not only listen to each other, but actually to hear, says Horse Mcdonald
Acouple of weeks ago, just before setting off for London, I was a guest on Stephen Jardine’s BBC Radio Scotland programme, for the launch of their campaign #choosetochat.
I joined Ford Kiernan, people from various walks of life, various organisations and the cutest of dogs from Therapets. I spoke of my own experiences of loneliness, including desperate sadness and isolation after an op on my vocal chords during the recording of our first album. Finding my voice in my formative years saved me through the darkest times. In an instant it was gone and with it, all joy and sense of wellbeing. Being silent or silenced can be a desperate place.
A key to happiness is being ourselves, but achieving it can be hard. We can can seem accomplished, successful, driven – happy, but it isn’t always the case. We also assume that its always just older people who are lonely, though that of course is true, it can strike anyone at any time.
As technology advances, whilst it opens up our world further it actually makes us all more insular and solitary.
The idea that we are communicating with ‘friends’ eg on Facebook is a fallacy, the fact is that unless we physically see other people, feel their presence, reach out to and be with them, we get lonely.
It is so good then, to see any sparks of positivity online, and with over 15 million+ views, the Cycling Without Age Falkirk Campaign, highlighted in a BBC 3 Amazing Humans feature with Fraser Johnstone the creator/ volunteer taking Care home resident Mary and friends out in a ‘Trishaw’ that has got everyone smiling. I found myself on my own for much of the time I was in London. I performed at Leicester Square at Pride in London to thousands, going home, alone. I did a three night residency with David Mcalmont (Hideaway club’s Dusty & Shirley), after the plaudits it was back to my base, alone - such extremes between applause and silence.
“On stage I make love to 25,000 thousand people; and then I go home alone,” said Janis Joplin.
Days ago Chester Bennington, (Linkin Park) and several weeks ago Chris Cornell (Soundgarden), like many other ‘troubled’ musicians, lost their own battles.
It highlights the struggle between what we feel and what we are able to share, also info matter how troubled we are, ultimately ‘substances’ will never resolve those issues. Throughout history we’ve seen many artists battling inner demons through their creativity. Van Gogh, Shelley, Woolf, Plath, had an ability to draw from the depth of their souls, that helped until they could no longer cope. In essence, they’re really no different to us.
We become more distant and observe each other from afar. It’s time to stop, take time, not only listen to each other, but actually to hear. ● Singer songwriter Horse Mcdonald is appearing at the Queen’s Hall in Edinburgh on Saturday, 11 November and the Fruitmarket, Glasgow on Friday, 17 November.