Selfies with the turkey? Christmas dinner needs ground rules

A traditional meal where people actually talk to each other, rather than their ‘followers’ is important, writes Jim Duffy

It’s Christmas Day and you are gearing up for the big one. Yes, that Christmas dinner that you have made from scratch. Turkey, gravy, Brussels sprouts, carrots, parsnips, roast potatoes and all that goes with it. The Prosecco is chilling nicely in the fridge and the table is set. You are ready and really looking forward to a wonderful occasion with family and friends.

Then the moment arrives. You call everyone forward and each takes a seat at the table. It’s time to pull the crackers and put on those festive Christmas hats, telling silly jokes. The cheer is good and everyone is together in the moment. Well, maybe not everyone ...

As one of the family pulls out a mobile phone and starts tapping away, you now have a decision to make: are you allowing tech at the Christmas dinner?

With many truly amazing memories of Christmas dinners from when I was a young boy with my grandmas to when I had youngsters and their grandmas would come over, from watching the Wizard of Oz to listening to Her Majesty the Queen’s Christmas message, the whole day was focussed around being with those your love.

All the wrapping paper was now in black bags – recycled these days – and the oven was on for the turkey. And then it was time for toys to be put down, TVS to be switched off with maybe some background Christmas music chiming away at a low level.

That is as technical as it ever got in my house – until the big tech companies introduced us to smartphones and tablets. And now the game has changed.

Whether it is Christmas for two or a large gathering, the whole point is to have everyone there present and correct, and feeling art-and-part of the celebration and dinner. Chatting and laughing and eating and appreciating those around us.

So, what happens when guests get out their mobiles and start texting their friends and photographing the turkey? Is this acceptable or a flagrant violation of the Christmas dinner code?

The problem is nowadays that if you, the host, make a ruling on tech at the dinner table, then you could be in danger of being a “Bah humbug” spoilsport. A dictatorial despot who is enforcing anachronistic outof-date rules upon your guests.

The snowflakes at the table might take real umbrage and decide to make a protest and not come back next year, opting to eat with other snowflakes at hipster eateries.

But, do not forget these particular snowflakes are your flesh and blood. And that’s the whole point of Christmas, is it not – family time?

It’s a tech tightrope and unless you make a stand, you will be caught in no-man’s land, flip-flopping on your decision. Maybe it’s time to compromise. After all, it’s all about goodwill and peace to all mankind right?

Maybe taking a picture of the turkey is actually OK. Maybe a short video of the turkey arriving at the table is okay. A few smartphone snaps of family and friends which can later be shared is OK.

Yes, perhaps a five-minute tech amnesty at the beginning of dinner is a wise move to capture the moment, without tech diminishing the whole event.

This might work and show everyone how progressive and amenable you are. But, when is the best time to make a ruling on this? I’d say early in the day, so that you set the expectation that phones are acceptable for a short period, but after that the dinner table is tech free. Good move.