Features: Struggling halfway through Dry January? Here’s some inspiration
For Ruari Fairbairns, giving up alcohol improved lots of areas of his life. The founder of OYNB (One Year No Beer), offers tips for those who want a break from booze
January – the one time of year you can “get away” with not drinking. Let’s face it, your liver has probably taken a bit of a pounding during December; you know you need this, but do you really want it? January starts full of good intentions but by the middle of the month you’re dreaming about a glass of wine or a cold, refreshing pint, just the one. The temptation is strong, the resolve not so much. All you can do is batten down the hatches, cancel all of your social plans and become a recluse. You pray for the days to go quickly but time just drags. You’ve already chosen your tipple of choice to reward yourself with or booked a table at your favourite watering hole to celebrate the end of your hibernation.
If this is the way you see Dry January then believe me, you’re looking at it all the wrong way.
When I first took a break from alcohol, everyone around me thought I was crazy. As an oil broker in central London, my work colleagues and peers were convinced that I couldn’t possibly succeed in business without it. My friends told me that I would become boring and doubts soon kicked in. I even questioned whether my wife would still love me. Total and utter baloney. Going alcohol free transformed my life in ways I never imagined and to say I had the best, most productive year of my life is an understatement. Business blossomed, along with relationships, and I lost 42 pounds. For me, decades of IBS struggles alleviated to the point of barely existing and any signs of skin problems like psoriasis disappeared completely. My mental health drastically improved, I had more energy and I was happier. I genuinely began to live life better.
These positive effects aren’t exclusive to my alcohol-free journey; the vast majority of our 30,000-member community has experienced at least one of these transformative changes. We know for a fact that you have to take a break from alcohol for at least a month to see the real benefit physically and psychologically.
It’s only when we take that break from alcohol that we can truly see what effect it has on us, and only then are we able to check our attitude to and behaviour with alcohol.
At OYNB we don’t see going AF as giving things up or missing out, it’s about gaining a clear advantage in every area of your life. Our members tell us that they’ve never felt better, more alive, so much so that over 80 per cent of those who reach 90 days decide to keep going. But that’s besides the point. Our mission at OYNB is to help people rethink and recalibrate their relationship with alcohol, stripping away the years of peer pressure and societal conditioning that makes us believe that we need alcohol at every event and social gathering and that we couldn’t possibly have a good time without it. There is something magical about waking up feeling fresher and more vibrant than you have in years on a Sunday, being there for your kids instead of chucking them in front of the TV while you sleep it off; knowing exactly how much you spent the night before instead of gawping blearyeyed at all the contactless bar receipts that have magically appeared in your wallet.
If you want to do Dry January, do it well. Here are my top tips to get you through the month alive and kicking:
Get out and be sociable – whether it’s a day trip with friends or a physical challenge like a park run. Take on something that will push you out of your comfort zone (within reason) and replace your bad habits with good ones e.g. lose yourself in a G&T at 6pm, lose yourself in a new cookery book or pre-dinner meditation.
Plan things in advance – this may sound obvious, but an easy place to slip up is an event where you know you may be tempted by alcohol. There are loads of great alcohol-free alternatives out there from beers to fizz and mocktails and it couldn’t be easier to fake a G&T with a sparkling water over ice with a slice! If you’re not sure what to order, phone first or check out their menu online.
Break the peer pressure –let your friends know in advance that you’re not drinking and explain why. Have a set of stock phrases that will reinforce your internal reasoning and also leave little room for being badgered into ‘just one drink’ by a friend.
Be kind to yourself – this journey isn’t going to be a bed of roses every day and you’ll find parts of it challenging. Slip ups don’t mean failure and if you give in to the guilt, before you know it you’re spiralling with shots into oblivion, so be kind. Forgive yourself and focus on mindfulness. Acknowledging your triggers and working on them will help you move forward.
Go public – tell the world about your challenge. Post your intentions on social media or do it for charity. The decision is yours. The more people who know about the new alcoholfree you, the more your pride instinct will kick in, driving you to succeed.
Drive – car keys = sensible head and easy escape route if it just becomes too much.
Keep your drinking money for something really worthwhile – money is a great motivator and think of all the cash you’ll save from not drinking, and not paying for munchies at the end of the night or cab fares home. Keep it somewhere visible so you can see how much you’re squirreling away and treat yourself to something you really really want at the end of it.
Slip ups don’t mean failure and if you give in to the guilt, before you know it you’re spiralling with shots into oblivion, so be kind
Take a selfie - dull skin starts to glow, eyes are brighter, more alert. You’d be amazed at even the small changes that can happen over 28 days so make sure you capture it all.