The hostility towards trans people at Pride march was shocking
The media response to a parent’s simple declaration of love for their children left me with the feeling that somehow our society is still getting something wrong.
That Prince William loves all three of his children unquestionably should surely not be a news story. And it probably wouldn’t have been, except for one word. Gay.
His confirmation came when he was asked by a transgender member of the public about how he would react to one of his children being LGBT.
He was, of course, supportive and concerned about the obstacles and issues they might face particularly in their public role.
At first, I wasn’t sure whether the overpowering feeling that I felt was anger or despair. Anger that there should ever be any doubt about that. Despair that, somehow, society still needed him to say it out loud.
The context of his comments is, of course, crucial to understanding exactly why it was important that he did so.
It came while visiting the excellent Albert Kennedy Trust (a charity that helps LGBT homeless people), at an event highlighting the difficulties faced by those who find that the price of coming out as gay, bi-sexual, or transgender, is a fractured relationship with their family.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand a parent’s concern about the hostility their child may face, the perceived loss of what many see as a ‘normal’ life in a heterosexual relationship with children, or that some parents may even today question whether it is a failing of some sort on their part. We all invest our children with our own dreams. We want them to achieve more, have more, be happier.
So the thought that somehow other people’s narrow mindedness could rob them of any of that is too painful to think about. But it’s the fact that anyone should still have to think about living a life to suit others’ prejudices in 2019 that causes my anger.
This week was the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots in New York. The raids on the gay bar Stonewall Inn sparked the protests which catapulted LGBT rights and discrimination
against the community into the spotlight in a way unknown before.
It also led to a worldwide annual festival in celebration of, and by, the LGBT community. Every summer our towns and cities are filled with a cacophony of colour as we celebrate the event to which Stonewall gave birth. Pride.
A lot has changed in that 50 years. The mid years of the 20th century were not easy for those who didn’t conform to perceived norms. Sexual or otherwise.
Too many film and pop stars who wanted to protect their careers felt they had little option but to keep their sexuality well hidden at the back of the closet.
Too many people felt that they had no option but to live secret lives, often even marrying someone of the opposite sex. I do not say that to judge. Far from it.
It breaks my heart to think of the hardship, unhappiness and sheer misery that would have caused.
Imagine not being able to live a life with the one you love because of what other people might think or even do to you because you didn’t live a life they approved of?
We like to think we’ve moved on. The world is a much more open and understanding place. Surely there is nobody now who lives a life that denies them that complete fulfilment and happiness we all crave.
We embrace diversity and hold the protection of human rights high. But after this past week, I’m not so sure we have come as far as we think.
This past week was Edinburgh Pride. I should have been speaking at the event which has come to mean more to me than I could ever have imagined.
Just being part of that celebration of all that is good about tolerance and growth is a privilege. But unfortunately the invite clashed with one I had already accepted.
My disappointment was heightened by the fact that this year there is a new threat to the understanding that we have achieved as a society in that half a century.
That transgender man who chatted with Prince William was doing so against a background of a worrying re-emergence of a specific intolerance. I wanted to be there to add my voice to those calling for a positive, sympathetic approach.
Opposition to the Gender Recognition Act threatens to propel us all backwards to a time when conforming was more important than happiness or fulfilment.
I wouldn’t suggest for a moment that being gay or bisexual is the same as being transgender.
But if there is a group in society who should have some comprehension of the anitipathy and anger faced by those who feel they have been assigned the wrong gender, or who reject any gender at all, then surely it is the rest of the LGBT community. Surely people who have often struggled with their own sexuality, and know the trauma that can entail, can sympathise with those who are coping with all the emotional and medical difficulties that being transgender involves?
Apparently not always. I was shocked to discover that last week’s Pride in Edinburgh was marred by division, anger and hostility towards transgender participants.
The initial problem was handled superbly and defused by event organisers.
However the controversy reemerged afterwards with Twitter rants from people who, frankly, I expected better from. Do I understand what being transgender really means? No. How can I?
Can I listen, support and try to understand a fellow human being? Oh I hope so.
I’ve thought about the question which, although it hasn’t been mentioned, follows on from Prince William’s declaration of love for his children. Would the rest of us feel the same?
Could we support his children and our own along whichever path life had laid out for them?
There is only one answer from which, I believe, we can take any sense of pride. It is yes.