My answer to climate emergency? Put real snakes on planes

Dr Matt Winning reveals how taking action on climate change made him feel like ‘the most Scottish man in the world’

Sound the alarm. We’ve declared a climate emergency! However, it doesn’t really feel like an emergency yet. It feels more like waiting in an emergency room which is slowly filling up with impatient in-patients.

All that’s happened so far is the Scottish Government has scrapped their proposed cuts on the air departure tax. An important move, as, given limited technological options, we need to curtail increasing aviation demand. Some people are afraid of flying. I think we need to make more people afraid of flying. Perhaps glass floors or actual snakes on a plane? A first step amongst many on the path to consistent decision-making across the economy. But we now need to even the playing field by taxing aviation properly compared to other forms of travel.

The Committee on Climate Change’s advice is to make the UK emissions reduction target net-zero by 2050 and that Scotland should do it even faster, by 2045. In typical Scottish fashion, what will spur us on is proving we can do something better than the English. The race is on. You may take our condensing boilers but you’ll never take our freedom (to have a clean environment)!

It may very well be rivalry that spurs us on to greatness. Like Andy Murray in the tennis, it is the achievements of those around him that made him work harder to reach the top. Glasgow and Edinburgh are now in direct competition to become the UK’S first net-zero city. Having lived in both cities, I am looking forward to a wind turbine on the top of the Duke of Wellington’s cone and tourists’ footsteps on the Royal Mile powering local homes. If we could harness the unleashed rivalry of Scottish

sports fans and turn that into something positive, like ‘nine in a row’ for largest emissions reductions, then we’d sort the problem in absolutely no time. We always want to feel we’re better than our neighbours so get out there, start telling Susan next door about how little you drive and watch her sell that Volvo and become an eco-warrior.

We have done well so far, especially on decarbonising the power sector, as Scotland’s actual emissions are now half what they were in 1990, back when coal reigned supreme and wind power was virtually nonexistent. That is the easy stuff. Heating is next and I don’t know if you’ve noticed but we are a Baltic nation, so we use an awful lot of it. I think 90 per cent is my gran. However, there has been very little progress in emissions reductions in transport, agriculture, forestry and land-use sectors, although some plans are now in place.

We need to drive electric cars but also have more car-sharing options and to drive less. Changes in road transport will also have extra benefits, mostly health-related. Firstly, it will reduce air pollution which hopefully means the only filter kids will need on their face is on Snapchat. Parents often choose quieter routes to walk with their children, away from traffic, as this can cut pollution exposure by almost twothirds. We’re so afraid of inconveniencing drivers that the people being poisoned are the ones having to change their behaviour. If we continue with that logic we’ll soon just be telling children to stop breathing.

Secondly, there’s the benefits of walking and cycling more. Run to the gym to cancel your membership. Then there is changing our diets. To cut emissions I have changed my milk. I now only drink oat milk, which is especially weird