The Scotsman

I’ve become a

Kevan Christie enjoys looking down on his colleagues, but is in bed at 7.30pm, after joining standing desk revolution

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Stunning news from the workplace this week folks as I have taken charge of a standing desk and now tower over slouched colleagues like a journalist­ic Goliath to their Davids or Davinas if you prefer.

The installati­on took seconds and the winged chariot on the fifth floor of Orchard Brae House has been aligned to allow panoramic views of both the Queensferr­y Crossing and Mossmorran chemical plant for watching brief purposes combining fire and ice. I am now one of three pioneers, nee #influencer­s, at Hootsman Towers battling the anachronis­tic morality of the office chair brigade, with their fat Coke and Mini Cheddar’d ways.

Sitting there in rows chained together like Terry Waite and John Mccarthy while bright young things bring them assorted snacks and sundries from the vending machine (or rightly tell them to get their own junk food).

A respected hack has already sidled up to whisper the words “nice bit of kit” in my ear which took me back to Hereford and time spent with the Regiment – but I won’t get into that for reasons of national security and oaths. “What we do in life, echoes in eternity.”

After years of being bombarded with emails and follow-up calls from PR companies offering me all sorts of nonsense from essential oils to Hello Vera juice, Workout Midi Briefs and progressiv­e tanning milk… eh? I turned the tables on them and ‘reached out’ for a freebie Varidesk which if purchased online will leave you with little change from a £400 note.

The company Vari promptly delivered but turned down my suggestion for a marketing campaign based around the catchy “Try a Vari,

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 ??  ?? 0 This is either The Scotsman’s office on a quiet Tuesday, with Kevan Christie
0 This is either The Scotsman’s office on a quiet Tuesday, with Kevan Christie

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