Why we may
Neil Ferguson, aka Professor Lockdown or ‘Professor Pantsdown’, is a leading expert in his field, says Kevan Christie
Normally, I like to keep it clean and above the waistline in this column, however, matters of a sexual nature have been brought to my attention that merit further discussion, dear readers.
I am of course talking about the resignation of the Government’s chief adviser on all matters Covidrelated, Neil Ferguson, who handed in his notice after seeing his married lover twice in the last month or so – thus breaking his own advice on social distancing.
Professor Lockdown was quickly labelled Professor Pantsdown, by the usual media suspects and renta-gob Katie Hopkins, for providing Antonia Staats with some essential Fergie extra time. Man has sex with woman shocker! The news left Matt Hancock “speechless”, which you may say is no bad thing, before he burst into tears and demanded a police investigation into reports of people up and down the country having rumpy-pumpy behind his back. Although not exactly giving Fergie the hairdryer treatment, the Health Secretary demanded the polis lift the “deviant” epidemiologist and throw him in the Tower. “Off with his head.”
Elon Musk, the minted technology entrepreneur, named after a Seventies aftershave, took time out from calling his new baby X AE A-12 and selling all his worldly possessions so he could devote more time to “Mars and Earth” to chip in with his ten cents worth of criticism.
In a series of tweets on Tuesday night prompted by images of the Telegraph story, Musky called the Prof an “utter moron” and “tool” and followed up with “this guy has caused massive strife to the world with his absurdly fake science”.
Well, I suppose if you call saving 250,000 people from Boris Johnson’s original and presum