ON TWITTER
Monkeys mobbed an Indian health worker near Delhi and made off with blood samples from coronavirus tests. They were later recovered undamaged.
@_jhoesharkey
tweeetedl “Not to alarm anyone, but we’re now in the opening scene of 28 Days Later.”
responded: “It’s far too early for us to go full 28 Days Later, I had this pencilled in for July. We all know that June is Cannibal Rat Month.”
said: “Anyone else hearing about the monkeys escaping from the lab with virus samples like 28 Days Later and actually feeling hopeful that we might get a zombie apocalypse to replace capitalism with, because honestly, it would be an improvement!”
tweeted: “Scientists: ‘We will get you a cure.’ Later: ‘We stored our coronavirus next to the disgruntled monkeys, you’re getting Planet of the Apes’.”
@thecolleencg
@Skyecity
@Jimmfelton
@classiclib3ral
replied: “Come on don’t act like we haven’t all left some virus samples near our disgruntled monkeys a couple of times?”
@Thesourcelocator
said: “I, for one, welcome our new monkey overlords.”
japed: “Calm DOWN, folks: everything is OK. The monkeys are holding a press conference at the very same lab just now, and I am being informed as we speak that they behaved legally and reasonably, and they would appreciate it if we all moved on so we can fight this coronavirus together.”
@bloggerheads
@leelloyd
said: “Rise of the Planet of the Apes.”
said: “Ban animal testing now.”
said: “Oh come on, we’re already in the middle of like 37 disaster movies as it is.”
@up_democracy
@vexwerewolf
@Robbielynch1995
said: “Scientists: ‘It’s absurd to believe that the Wuhan labs security was breached to the extent that this virus was unintentionally released from that lab.’ Also scientists .... ”
said: “I’m hoping the monkeys put themselves up for election in the UK and improve the political landscape here.”
added: “2020 continues to be mad. It seems like everything in history has happened this year.”
@Robmik
@Khanur199
@st3v3nparker
reckoned: “And they’ll probably find a cure before us.”