WILL

Scots still be allowed to speak English if we have to leave the UK? It seems Transport Minister Keith Brown is developing his own variant of the language already, just in case. Dog imagines he meant to warn the Scottish parliament that ‘strong Scottish voices might be in short supply’, but it came out as ‘strong Scottish vices’ instead. So which Scottish vices will be restricted? Whisky? Gambling? Vice girls? Deep-fried Mars Bars? Dog is sure none of this is in the SNP’s White Paper on independence.