And Mary’s verdict? Now get YOUR man checked!

IN SICKNESS and in health – that’s what it says in the marriage contract, and that’s what it feels like when your husband or partner is diagnosed with prostate cancer.

If your man is anything like Jeffrey, he won’t be good at getting regular medical check-ups or admitting he may have a health problem.

That’s why, when I heard that Jeffrey’s PSA level was slightly higher than it should be for a man of his age, I encouraged him to have a thorough check-up. I was very glad I did, because the MRI scan and biopsy that he then had showed quite a bit of cancer in his prostate, though fortunately it didn’t seem to have spread.

Something needed to be done, but what? This is a key point in the cancer journey where a family member can be really helpful, by going with the patient to discuss treatment options with the specialist. Jeffrey had little hesitation in opting for surgery, and a couple of weeks later he had a robot-assisted radical prostatectomy. The surgeon had told us what to expect after this surgery and that was very helpful.

Jeffrey did not like the catheter he had in for a week afterwards, and I was able to help with catheter care and practical issues of washing and taking regular medication and exercise.

Then, when the catheter came out, he didn’t like the poor continence he suffered for the next few days any better. I was very sympathetic about that as I had had a similar experience three years ago, after my operation for bladder cancer.

I’m fine now, and that helped Jeffrey believe he would be fine too.

So my advice to any woman finding herself in the same situation as I was last autumn, with her man facing a diagnosis of prostate cancer, is to stay connected for the journey. It’s much easier to travel the road together.