The birds were angry, but we were splitting our sides
EVERYBODY in the packed auditorium was rocking with laughter at the new 4D Angry Birds Movie. Even my husband and I, who weren’t convinced we wanted to spend a weekend at a theme park, were clutching our sides with mirth.
It was all a far cry from the moment we arrived at Thorpe Park in Surrey. While not even the light rain could dampen the mood of my two young sons as we pulled up in the car park, Justin and I exchanged worried glances and shivered exaggeratedly.
The last time I visited a theme park was 20 years ago in Blackpool, and I still remember queuing for more than an hour to get in. For this visit, we were staying at the new Thorpe Shark Hotel, the price of which includes two days in the park and early entry on the second day.
This means that you can beat the queues in Angry Birds Land, the newest addition to Thorpe Park’s portfolio of more than 30 attractions.
In the area built around the hugely popular mobile phone app, you will find such delights as King Pig’s Wild Hog Dodgems and of course the 4D movie.
The hotel’s reception area is in a pretty, blue-painted shack, and you pass through a vast metal shark’s mouth to reach the bedrooms which are set within four rows of basic-looking buildings on an island next to the park. We were fortunate enough to have one on the upper floor which overlooks the lake. A nesting swan huddled in the long grass just below the balcony.
The room itself feels like a ship’s cabin. The walls are pale blue and the bedding pristine white. A double bed facing the door stretches the length of the room and bunk beds are set at a right angle to this. It is certainly compact.
But the mattresses are supremely comfortable and, although the bathroom is also ship-sized (small) and has room for only one person (we tried), the shower is both hot and powerful. I’m sure the boys would have remained happily ensconced there a little longer, but then they remembered the rides.
Attention must be paid to the height restrictions. Oscar, eight, was too small (under 140cm) to go on extreme rides such as Swarm, a rollercoaster on which thrill-seekers hang upside-down 100ft in the air. Thankfully I was obliged to stay with him and watch the action from the ground.
But I summoned up the courage to go on other rides – much to the delight of the boys. ‘Wasn’t it funny when Mummy screamed, “Please just let it end,”’ giggled Archie, nine, as we clambered off the spinning Zodiac. Less terrifying
experiences, such as Flying Fish and Storm Surge (yes, we got quite wet), were, I admit, enormous fun. I also rediscovered my childhood on the 10p slot machines, where I am ashamed to say I had to be dragged away despite begging for more time to win a plastic keyring.
Archie and Justin later tried out Detonator: Bombs Away – riders are taken up a 100ft tower before plunging back to earth at 50mph (‘The best thing ever,’ enthused Archie afterwards, although Justin looked amusingly green.) We all went on the dodgems and ate vast hot dogs.
The 4D Angry Birds movie was the highlight. It has a simple Angry Birds theme and no speech, so anyone can follow the story (pigs steal eggs, birds chase pigs), but the special effects are absolute genius, right down to being ‘spat’ at by King Pig and getting our faces covered in water. The look on the children’s faces was a joy to behold. ‘This has been the best half-term,’ sighed Archie, as he climbed into bed that night.
The next morning, as we strolled back into the park early after a very good cooked breakfast, I was delighted to see a queue forming outside.
I have quite changed my mind about theme parks.
One night at the Thorpe Shark Hotel costs from £39.99 per person, including accommodation, selected evening entertainment, a two-day park ticket, parking, breakfast and early entry to the park on the second day. Visit thorpepark.com.