QUOTES of the week

‘Je suis Charlie.’

Twitter slogan used in solidarity with French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo after it was attacked by Al Qaeda gunmen.

‘I’d rather die standing than live on my knees.’

Charlie Hebdo editor Stephane Charbonnier, who was among those killed, dismisses death threats before last week’s atrocity.

‘Why has someone Photoshopped Justin Bieber’s head on to what is clearly my body?’

Comedian David Walliams, after a new Calvin Klein advert showed his wife Lara Stone clutching the singer’s ripped torso.

‘The woman who is saying that is the woman who, at 40, 45, 48, still wants to play the ingenue and can’t understand why she’s not cast as the 21-year-old.’

Actor Russell Crowe hits out at actresses who complain about a lack of roles for older women.

‘All his talent’s in his toes, that’s for certain.’

Julie, wife of footballer Phil Neville, who is so cosseted he can’t even make a cup of coffee.

‘There’s a Waitrose not far from me. I found one Waitrose bag. There’s a Tesco Metro and I find Tesco bags all the time.’

Author and campaigner David Sedaris tells a Commons committee that poor people drop more litter.

‘He used to joke that when I became famous I could pay him back for all the school fees he wasted on me, but there’s absolutely no way.’

Comedian Jack Whitehall says his father went without so that he could have an expensive education.

‘If people really get fed up of me, then I won’t get more work. And if I can’t do what I love, I’ll shrivel up and die.’

Broadchurch star Olivia Colman fears viewers are sick of seeing her cry.

‘While we’re all in favour of organ donation, it’s surely impossible to donate something you don’t possess.’

Labour MP Angela Eagle on Lib Dem promises to be the ‘heart and spine of any future government’.

‘I have drugs.’

T-shirt worn by John Balmer, stopped by police in Florida and found to be carrying… drugs.

‘Not since he died, no.’

Sir Roger Moore, when asked if he kept in touch with his Persuaders co-star Tony Curtis.