QUOTES of the week

‘Anyone reading this letter who has a problem with it, I think really has a problem.’ David Cameron hits back at claims that a Government letter asking Islamic leaders for help against extremism was unfair.

‘Some people think that in order to be good Catholics, we have to be like rabbits.’ The Pope tells the faithful to go forth and multiply, but not too much.

‘You classist gimp... it is your populist, envy-based, vote-hunting ideas which make our country c**p, far more than me and my s*** songs and my plummy accent.’ Singer James Blunt, after Labour’s Chris Bryant named him while calling for more workingclass people in the arts.

‘Can you give us a twirl?’ What Canadian tennis player Eugenie Bouchard was asked by a commentator after a victory in the Australian Open.

‘The Sun has got its top on.’ Headline in The Times, as The Sun appeared to remove topless models from its pages.

‘My house that used to smell of bread and roses, with an undertone of terrier, now smelt like a wet bonfire.’ Novelist Daisy Goodwin after her home was consumed by fire.

‘The public may assume the report is being sexed down.’ Nick Clegg, on continuing delays to publication of the Chilcot Report on the Iraq War

‘Westminster Abbey flying half-mast flag for dead king of Saudi Arabia, where Christianity is banned and possessing a Bible is illegal.’ Journalist Andrew Neil joins a storm of protest against the tributes on public buildings.

‘We considered “comptroller”, but that was rejected after a discussion with the great Brendan Carlin of The Mail on Sunday. He immediately said “fat” and I’m afraid the image of Thomas The Tank Engine diverted us from comptroller.’ Jacob Rees-Mogg MP tells the House about the title of a new Commons role.

‘Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a part of the play. Is there a doctor in the house?’ Fellow actor Noel White after Brian Blessed collapsed on stage. Blessed was revived and finished the show.