She blew kisses to the gallery... and bathed in the warm glow of adulation
IT is an unwritten law of any SNP gathering these days that no event is complete until Nicola Sturgeon has posed for a selfie – even if that selfie inadvertently only captures the top half of her head.
And so the SNP’s conference concluded with a portrait of the First Minister surrounded by her colleagues and backed by 3,500 adoring delegates. As selfies go, this one was hardly worthy of an Oscar ceremony.
Still, Miss Sturgeon reminded Scotland yesterday she knows how to wield a stiletto and a handbag. When she wasn’t slipping a knife into Labour ribs, she was clouting the Conservatives with her handbag. Metaphorically, of course. The message was clear, simple and deadly: opposition is futile. The SNP is Scotland’s party and Miss Sturgeon is Mother Of The Nation.
‘I won’t pretend we are perfect or I am perfect’, she said, but no one was having that. The First Minister is a L’Oreal politician who knows she is worth it.
Like any parent, she beamed with pride as she listed her children’s achievements. What an ‘amazing year this has been’ she crowed. Why, ‘ours is an achievement unprecedented in modern politics.’ She blew kisses to the gallery and bathed in the warm adulation of a conference for whom she can do no wrong.
No British politician has been so adored since Tony Blair was in his pomp. Like New Labour, the SNP is living the dream.
The congregation clapped their MPs, they clapped their councillors, they clapped themselves. If it weren’t for the Michelle Thomson affair, they’d have cheered ‘the 56’.
Losing the independence referendum was only a flesh wound and, when squinted at correctly, no kind of defeat at all. Anyone, even deluded Unionists, should be able to appreciate that.
THERE will be another referendum when, like errant children, the people of Scotland will be given a second chance to get it right. Miss Sturgeon, headmistress of the nation, was clear that she expects everyone to do better next time.
The referendum will be held when the people of Scotland are deemed mature enough to handle the responsibilities of independence. Only when the polls show consistent support for independence will Miss Sturgeon press for another referendum.
In the meantime, her message to Unionists was that it is safe to vote for the SNP next May because they have, for the time being, parked their enthusiasm for independence. Other delegates agreed, spinning the line that a vote for the SNP is not necessarily a vote for independence. In the same way that 2 plus 2 does not equal 4.
The First Minister came, friends, to praise her party and bury Labour. Poor Jeremy Corbyn. He once showed such great promise but now, like everyone else outwith her party, he too has disappointed Miss Sturgeon. The Labour leader has let her down; worse, he has let himself down and it is clear he will never be Prime Minister. What a shame.
And if Labour are not in power it follows that the Tories must be. With a wolfish grin, Miss Sturgeon suggested the Tories might govern for another decade at least. The First Minister used this thought to terrify her children. A cynic might even be tempted to think she welcomed this prospect. Suddenly, she suggested, independence would seem the only safe option. David Cameron and George Osborne are her favourite bogeymen; a nightmare on Downing Street.
The people loved it just as much as they loved her. In her they trust. Things, it was very clear, can only get better.