6 New sex is exciting and naughty. Here’s how to keep it like that

WHEN we have sex with someone new, it just happens. And isn’t it wonderful, scary, exciting and naughty? It can make us feel older when we’re young and younger when we’re older.

As our relationships develop, sex evolves into serving different purposes. To procreate, to help us tell each other we’re still in love, heal wounds or to build bridges, or as a naughty treat.

But then the sex brakes are gently squeezed.

I think the real reason a lot of men get hot under the collar about a gradual dearth of skin-on-skin is because it represents a sea-change in the domestic world order.

Our craving for sex isn’t a genuine physical need, it’s a cry for attention and recognition that we might still be part of the scenario.

Still we delude ourselves, some to the extent that they risk everything by going in search elsewhere. BIG mistake. Even if you can cope with spinning all the plates, you stand to lose your house, life, family, wife and everything that is you.

Most men are caught in a ménage à trois – themselves, their partner and their work.

As a result, they often end up physically and mentally alienated from their spouse. What used to be a joyous joint hobby has now become an awkward taboo. Sex therapist Michelle Bassam says couples are never better than when on a joint mission to have fun together. ‘To plan, we have to communicate, which is the key to couples remembering what they love about each other.’ And sort your bedroom out. Michelle says: ‘Bedrooms should be designed for sleep first and sex second. Everything else can go whistle. Computers and telephones? A blanket ban. They are just excuses to avoid intimacy. We’re all sexy if we allow ourselves to be. It’s actually what we’re best at.’