You won’t BELIEVE what they tell me!

I haven’t watched The Windsors. I’m worried it’s too mean. It reminds me of Spitting Image – they took a colander, held it over the face of my puppet and sprayed it with red paint to make fun of my freckles. It can be quite hurtful.

The Duchess of York explains why she has been avoiding Channel 4’s satirical comedy about the Royals. Just as well, as Friday’s episode portrayed her as an alcoholic.

I’d hoped the one place we wouldn’t have to talk about Brexit would be the Chelsea Flower Show, but people keep asking me. It’s very annoying.

Dame Judi Dench was in an amusing grump at the Flower Show last week. It seems national treasure DJD is tiring a little of the referendum debate.

I was filming a nude scene for Tom Ford’s film and the make-up lady was slathering glittery cream all over my body. Tom said: ‘You’re doing it wrong’ and did it himself. I was shocked but he told me: ‘Don’t worry darling, I’m far too gay to find this sexy.’

Ellie Bamber, left, explains how she got much closer than expected to Ford during filming of Nocturnal Animals.

Do I see much of Steve Coogan when I’m not filming? Only through lawyers.

Rob Brydon was disparaging about his The Trip co-star when we chat at Chelsea.

Ab Fab doesn’t work with foreign voiceovers. They revoiced it in France and all the humour was sucked out of it. Although I must say that when I was dubbed by a Frenchwoman, Patsy sounded terribly chic.

Joanna Lumley tells me why Ab Fab the movie will have subtitles for foreign audiences.