It’s a 900-year-old house that costs £150 a night... with the Laird thrown in for free Welcome to the poshest airbnb in Britain
AS the starter – tender rillettes of rabbit – arrives, Ludovic Broun-Lindsay, umpteenth Laird of Colstoun, holds forth on the fascinating history of the building that has been his family’s home for 900 years. Over a main course of salmon in filo pastry, conversation turns to the great deeds of his ancestors, including those who feature in the paintings on the dining room walls and with whom he shares a distinctive nose.
Wine flows freely and by the time dessert arrives (tart with wild blackberries) the laird’s dinner table discussion has taken a bizarre turn onto the subject of enchanted fruit.
Apparently, a magic pear was gifted to his forebears by a 13th-Century wizard. It doesn’t rot, it guarantees the family’s prosperity until the end of time – and it’s still locked in a silver box somewhere upstairs.
Welcome to what must be some of the most unusual accommodation being offered on the internet: Colstoun House has now been made available to the public on rental website airbnb, with rooms to let for £150 a night.
It also boasts an unique feature, the opportunity to have dinner with the laird – and last week The Scottish Mail on Sunday visited the sprawling property in East Lothian to sample his hospitality.
Right from the start, it is clear this is no ordinary B&B. The house, sitting in 2,000 acres, has 56 rooms and is one of the oldest inhabited consistently by the same family.
Instead of the usual guest-house china ornaments, the main entrance hall sports several sets of elephant tusks. The walls are decked, not with framed prints, but oil paintings and tapestries stitched by generations of ladies at Colstoun, while the corridors are lined with Sikh swords, Indian armour and marble busts.
But by far the most unusual feature for paying guests at Colstoun is the option to dine with the owner.
Although Mr Broun-Lindsay does not have a formal aristocratic title, his family have been known as the Lairds of Colstoun for countless generations.
He explains: ‘I think I’m about the 20-something-th Laird. I can’t remember. It’s into the twenties anyway, but not quite 30...’
The 62-year-old widower, who was educated at Ampleforth College in Yorkshire and is the present provost of nearby Haddington, displays a similar vagueness about the size of the house. There are definitely eight guest rooms, but he can’t quite recall exactly how many bedrooms there are in total.
His is proud to note, however, that the Broun family history stretches back 900 years and ancestors include a Governor General of India.
Guests can simply pay for rooms on a bed and breakfast basis, but they can also choose to order dinner. Colstoun is home to a cookery school, which means excellent food is on offer. And if you wish (and the laird’s diary permits) he is happy to play host.
Over dinner, he explains the process of opening up his family home to paying visitors: ‘It was the ancestral home so, after my parents died, I was going to have to look after it.
‘My father died at the end of the 1980s and my mother died in the early 2000s. In the interim I was married for
seven years. After my beloved wife died and both my sisters had died, I was here by myself. I was turning into a sad old man, basically, with just a dog to keep me company.’
So he went into business with a nephew, who had been visiting from Edinburgh University and who spotted the house’s potential. The cookery school was opened, a biomass heating system installed, organic fruit and vegetables planted and the old coach house transformed into an events venue.
‘It’s brilliant,’ says the laird. ‘Everything’s coming alive again. I’m very much in the background, unless I’m required to sing for my supper occasionally.
‘If guests wish to meet the laird, I’m more than happy to oblige. But if they don’t, if they want it to be their party, I’m not there.’
Chuckling, he adds: ‘I suppose it’s better if guests don’t meet the ancient retainer and his useless puppy in the corridors upstairs in the early morning or late evening. Inevitably, I have to move through the house. I’ll say hello if I bump into someone in the corridor – unless it’s a lady in her dressing gown. I do try to be discreet.’
The building’s long history includes a blaze which nearly destroyed it in 1907, and visits by the aristocracy. Mr Broun-Lindsay confides: ‘We once had four archdukes staying here. The one from Tuscany was getting engaged to a girl from Stirling way. Austria came, and one who was married to a princess of Belgium. It was sometime in the Nineties. It was quite a big party.’
One legend with which guests are often regaled is the bizarre tale of the ancient Colstoun pear. The house is filled with ornamental replicas of the supposedly enchanted fruit.
‘It is the luck of the family,’ says the laird. ‘It’s almost inevitable guests will want to hear about it.’
The pear is said to have been a wedding gift from the Wizard of Gifford, also known as the neighbouring Laird Hugo of Gifford, in the 13th Century.
‘He appears as a character in Walter Scott’s book Marmion,’ says Mr Broun-Lindsay. ‘He was a noted necromancer. My ancestor was marrying a daughter of his.’
The wizard is said to have promised the couple that while he could not afford a dowry, the pear would bring the family prosperity if they guarded it and kept it intact.
It was safely passed down from father to son until the mid-1600s, when Lady Elizabeth Mackenzie, who married Sir George Broun, decided, while pregnant, to take a bite.
The Brouns’ fortunes swiftly took a turn for the worse, with her husband forced to sell the house to his brother to pay for his gambling debts. The new laird and his two young sons then drowned when their carriage overturned into the river outside.
Since then the family fortunes have improved. Mr Broun-Lindsay said: ‘We’ve still got the pear, and you can still see her teeth marks in it. It’s about the size of a large Spanish chestnut, but it’s definitely pear-shaped.
‘There was a time when my ancestors were, not secretive, but nervous of the pear. My grandparents never showed it to anyone except members of the family or royalty.’
These days, Colstoun is run by a team of staff including the laird’s relatives. Shooting is also on offer, and the team are organising a murder mystery event for US tourists.
Mr Broun-Lindsay said: ‘It’s a hive of industry.’
...and only one in world to have an 800-year-old enchanted pear given to the family by a wizard!