You won’t BELIEVE what they tell me!

Prince William dances like a dad. He has two left feet. He did a gangly dad dance with Kate around the dancefloor. Stuart Garner, boss of Norton Motorcycles, lets me in on a Royal secret about a recent party.

I want to go on Strictly and learn to dance, so it’s a shame nobody has ever asked me! Olympic diving star Tom Daley tells me he’s probably the only celebrity in Britain who hasn’t been invited to appear on Strictly Come Dancing.

People always comment about my arms and my biceps. I think they look defined right now because it’s premiere time and I sign a lot of autographs. Renée Zellweger, right, tries to convince me at the premiere of Bridget Jones’s Baby that she owes her svelte figure just to writing her name.

My wife picks all my clothes for me… but only when I am dressing as a man. Cross-dressing artist Grayson Perry reveals who wears the trousers in his house.

I came third in a pub quiz about Doctor Who. I messed up on all the episodes I wrote.

Steven Moffat, lead writer on Doctor Who, admits to me at the ES Progress 1,000 party that he can’t remember his own shows.

Yes Jilly and I are both single again but there is no chance of us hooking up. Good lord, no. We just are very good friends. But there are lots of very attractive people here tonight, I hope they aren’t put off by my silly tie... Andrew Parker Bowles – the man author Jilly Cooper supposedly based her star character Rupert Campbell-Black on – tells me at the launch of her book Mount! that he is on the lookout…