QUOTES of the week

‘A mutton-headed old mugwump.’

Boris Johnson’s colourful description of Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn.

‘Has he caught the repetitive cliche virus from his boss?’

Question Time audience member scorns Pensions Secretary Damian Green for parroting Theresa May’s ‘coalition of chaos’ and ‘strong and stable government’ slogans.

‘If it flies, it will die.’

US Admiral Harry Harris threatens to shoot down any missiles fired by North Korea.

‘Apparently Greece has reduced its exports of houmous and taramasalata. It’s a double-dip recession.’

Joke doing the rounds after a production problem forced stores to clear their shelves of houmous.

‘Even my husband sees its advantages: company when I’m not around and a woman who treats him with a greater degree of respect than his wife!’

Mariella Frostrup, who has invited a female friend to move in with them.

‘I almost feel like I don’t deserve it. All I do is ride a bike.’

Olympics star Laura Trott, who received her CBE last week.

‘This is more work than in my previous life. I thought it would be easier.’

US President Donald Trump reflects on his first 100 days in the White House.

‘They are given so many toys, one can barely navigate the sea of crapola.’

Prue Leith blasts parents for over-indulging their children.

‘I’m a black woman, and not only that, I’m a middle-aged black woman. Double hooray!’

Chef Andi Oliver reveals why she was chosen to present a BBC cookery show.

‘If I want to buy 15,000 cotton wool balls a day, it’s my thing.’

Johnny Depp, who is at the centre of a legal battle with his former advisers over his wealth.