You won’t BELIEVE what they tell me!

Cameron invited me to No 10. One of his people said Obama was on the phone and wanted to speak urgently. I thought it was a terror attack. Turns out he rang for a massive bitch about Mitt Romney! Arnold Schwarzenegger’s brother Patrick reveals to me at Annabel’s party in Cannes the kind of highclass international diplomacy that goes on inside No10.

Who knows when, but we hope to have another child. It’s good being a dad. Mike Tindall at the Caudwell Children’s Butterfly Ball reveals his longing for another baby after a difficult year which, sadly, saw his wife Zara Phillips miscarry.

As soon as he’s sorry, I will cook for him. Miriam Gonzalez Durantez, right, wife of ex-Deputy PM Nick Clegg, famously once refused to cook for George Osborne when he came to dinner. Seems there is hope for George… if he apologises for those years of Tory austerity.

There is nothing to it if you want to weave a love chair with a vine. It is just in, out, in out. Furniture maker Lord Snowdon – formerly Viscount Linley – shares one of his design secrets with me at the Chelsea Flower Show. Can it really be that easy?

I wear my heart on my sleeve but I am pleased that I do because it’s real honesty and that is what I am about. I love. The Duchess of York proves that she remains as charmingly humble as ever.

I’ve just been given a pig which I’ve named Bridget Jones’s Baby. I’m going to take him home and put him on my trampoline. Novelist Helen Fielding, after winning the Bollinger Everyman Wodehouse award at the Hay Festival. The prize is a real pig – which the victorious author has to name after their winning book. Just don’t tell the RSPCA.