QUOTES OF THE WEEK

‘The spirit of Manchester and Britain is far mightier than the sick plots of terrorists. That is why they will never win and we will prevail.’ Theresa May remains defiant after the suicide bomb attack in the city left 22 people dead and scores more injured.

‘I won’t call them monsters because they would like that term. I will call them losers because that’s what they are.’ Donald Trump condemns terrorists and extremists who cause such bloodshed.

‘Don’t confuse sex with love. Love generally lasts more than two minutes.’ Dame Helen Mirren shares with young graduates one of her top tips for life.

‘John Terry stagemanaged his own send-off with all the sublety and grace of a hippopotamus at the wheel of a forklift truck.’ Sports commentator Jim White isn’t impressed with the Chelsea captain after he played his last game.

‘Of course I do all my own stunts. And I also do my own lying.’ Sir Roger Moore, James Bond star and master of selfdeprecating wit, who died last week.

‘I’m getting fatter and my hair is getting whiter. I’m turning into Father Christmas.’ Bake Off star Paul Hollywood blames the show for ruining his waistline and looks.

‘Executives think, “This is interesting – we have a talking monkey.” But one day they catch the monkey doing algebra and they say, “It’s time to get rid of the monkey!”’ Actress Salma Hayek criticises the treatment of women by Hollywood moguls.

‘Canvassers please note: this household charges £10 a minute. By knocking, you agree to the conditions above.’ Resident in Bolsover finds a novel way of putting off Election candidates by placing a sign on the front door.

‘My temper is a double hitter – think Jaws and King Kong.’ TV presenter Cat Deeley reminds people not to get on her wrong side.