The Scottish Mail on Sunday

You won’t BE­LIEVE what they tell me!

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I once nicked a book on 17th Cen­tury witchcraft from the Bos­ton Univer­sity li­brary. Take me away now and get the orange jump­suit. Loyd Gross­man, 66, con­fesses to his crim­i­nal past as a stu­dent. Re­tir­ing? It’s the first step to the knacker’s yard.

Sir Michael Parkin­son ex­plains why he’s still busy work­ing at the ten­der age of 82. Jamie and I got into bed and turned on the news to find Sky re­port­ing we had split up. We just sat there for an hour watch­ing all about how we had bro­ken up. It was sur­real! Louise Red­knapp, right, tells me at the Next Glam­our Awards that re­ports of a split from for­mer foot­baller Jamie were some­what in­ac­cu­rate... I never have a style in mind, I just hack my hair to pieces. Joanna Lum­ley re­veals to me at the Grange Park Opera that she’s her own hair­dresser. I was go­ing to have to spend £20 mil­lion re­pair­ing my house. But luck­ily a Chi­nese busi­ness­man worth £5.5 bil­lion bought it, and to him that’s small change.

Lord Brocket, at the A Night For Life Ball, re­veals that he is in awe of the wealth of the man who bought Brocket Hall. I re­mem­ber my late friends with tat­toos. I have a white bum­ble bee for Joan Rivers and a black but­ter­fly for Amy Wine­house, be­cause at her fu­neral a black but­ter­fly landed on my arm.

Kelly Os­bourne shows me her body art and re­veals the touch­ing se­crets be­hind them.

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