QUOTES of the week

‘She is caught between the devil and the DUP.’ Twitter user Emily Mackay, as Theresa May is forced to rely on support from the Democratic Unionist Party after her Election disaster. ‘What is it with her trying to forge alliances with orange men?’ Writer Gary Bainbridge highlights the PM’s links to the Ulster party and permatanned Donald Trump. ‘The worst thing she’s done is no longer running through a wheat field.’ Ex-Chancellor George Osborne adds to her discomfort by mocking her claim that the naughtiest thing she had ever done was trampling in a field as a child. ‘He officer was duringan RAF Service. National His from uniform Mothercare.’came pays tribute Jimmy to Tarbuckhis late friend Ronnie Corbett at a thanksgiving service. ‘London is the greatest city in the world. A plague couldn’t defeat it. War couldn’t defeat it. Terrorism stands no chance.’ Restaurant owner in the capital remains defiant after last weekend’s atrocity. ‘My speakers weren’t working properly so I missed a lot of the stereo effects.’ US critic Richard Goldstein, who slated The Beatles’ Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band album on its release 50 years ago, admits he was wrong but blames faulty equipment. ‘Ella, Alexander and Amal are all healthy, happy and doing fine. George is sedated and should recover in a few days.’ Spokesman for George

Clooney jokes after the star’s wife Amal gave birth to twins.

‘Sometimes I do feel compelled to have a nudie dance – it’s my way of connecting with nature.’ Springwatch star Kate Humble says she has no qualms about stripping off.