365million unworn clothes? Most of them are in my wardrobe...

IAM a middle-aged woman and I have nothing to wear. Except that’s a lie, of course. I have a lot of things to wear, I just never wear them. Jackets, trousers, rows of tops – some with their labels still on. Dresses I last wore 30 years ago and, even then, only once. The waste is shameful, but this week I discovered I wasn’t the only one with a guilty secret in the closet when a survey revealed that more than 55 per cent of the clothes in most women’s wardrobes are never worn. Ever.

That works out at about 365million garments. Laid end to end, they could reach Paris and back many times over – if only they were given the chance to come off their hangers.

Unsurprisingly, sparkly long evening dresses top the list of the most underused items. I’ve got five, and while I know that John Galliano once said that ‘style is wearing an evening dress to McDonald’s’, I don’t think he really aimed that advice at anyone who has been tempted to eat there.

So why are we all building these unwanted clothes mountains in our bedrooms?

Partly because we don’t know how to dress ourselves. Not the actual physical act of pulling on something to keep warm, but the complicated, loaded, emotionally charged decision-making process that invariably ends with the trick question: Does my bum look big in this?

As we all know, the answer is an automatic No, but the reality is that our bigger bottoms are one of the main reasons for these dusty piles of finery.

According to the survey, we don’t wear many of our clothes because we just can’t get into them.

Or worse, we buy them planning to fit into them after we’ve been on a diet. Pathetically, I’m not immune to this as a shopping policy. I have one frock I call the Miso Hungry dress because the only way I can get into it is if I eat nothing but miso soup for four days.

Early January is probably the worst time of year for getting dressed. Virtually nothing fits without punishing dieting or the help of some physics-defying undergarments – but these can come with an extra layer of complications.

I once had to save a woman trapped in a loo at a party who had decided to pull out all the last stops she had and wear a Herve Legerstyle dress that would have challenged the body of a ten-yearold gymnast.

Her secret weapon? A pair of heavy-duty Spanx, which were threatening to cut off the blood flow to her upper legs.

Luckily, I had a pair of nail scissors and she was able to avoid the indignity of calling an ambulance but, unluckily, her newly freed bulges meant she spent the rest of the night fielding enquiries about her impending pregnancy. Needless to say, she has never worn that little number again.

Less than 70 years ago, the idea that we would have clothes that we never wore would be inconceivable. Clothes were still rationed until 1949 and no woman would have had more than three dresses and one good coat in her armoury.

The difference is she may well have made them herself and been trained in the art of Make Do And Mend. The fact that clothes from the 1930s and 1940s are still in circulation, dressed up as vintage, says a great deal about the care and attention of their owners. These women had so little they had to look after their pieces and make them last.

THE Queen, like most women from her generation, is a great recycler of outfits, while Princess Anne defies nature and is often to be seen wearing a reheated ensemble from the 1970s. Both have the help of professionals, of course. And why not? I wish someone would come along and take control of my random choices.

I suspect that is why Amber Rudd has decided to employ Sam Cam’s ex stylist, Isabel Spearman, to help her personally with some of her outfit combinations.

That is not to say that Amber can’t dress herself. She manages it rather well, I’ve always thought, and has a unique, stylish look which tends to say ‘I know who I am’. But she is also Home Secretary and certainly has better things to do with her time than spend the average 21 minutes each morning struggling with the nightmare dilemma of What Can I Wear? A question to which most women would dearly love to know the answer.

RACHEL JOHNSON IS AWAY

I AM utterly delighted (and really quite weepy) that Zara Tindall is pregnant again after the heartbreak of a miscarriage. As anyone who has suffered this loss of hope and dreams will tell you, trying again is a tough decision. Some women never do, which only makes it more important that Zara has decided to bravely turn her face to the future.

LAST week, public health experts launched a campaign to limit children’s snacks to no more than two a day, with each one containing no more than 100 calories. Inevitably, there has been some backlash from parents outraged about being told what to do. But why not? Personally, I would be keen on them also issuing guidelines to children to limit their mother’s snacks in the same way.