QUOTES of the week

‘Treat this convalescence like one of your innings… SLOW.’ Test Match Special presenter Jonathan Agnew offers advice to former England captain Geoffrey Boycott following his quadruple heart bypass.

‘Super callous, fragile ego, Trump you are atrocious.’ Poster spotted at protests against the President’s visit to Britain.

‘Raab C. Brexit.’ Twitter nickname for new Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab.

‘With the occasional exception, the pundits have done a good job, notwithstanding some of their grammatical deficiencies. I find them things aggravating.’ Broadcaster Des Lynam’s tongue-in-cheek take on the World Cup coverage on TV.

‘You’re not coming.’ Princess Charlotte cheekily tells photographers they are not invited to the christening of her brother Prince Louis.

‘I fear our 70-year-long holiday from history may well be over.’ New Armed Forces chief Sir Nicholas Carter warns that post-war stability is being threatened by fake news and cyber attacks.

‘The equivalent of Reservoir Dogs remade by the Chuckle Brothers.’ Shadow Foreign Secretary Emily Thornberry’s description of the ‘shambolic’ Government.

‘You shouldn’t be telling us where to sit – you should be hanging your head in shame.’ Emma Fitzpatrick rebukes rail boss Mark Boon after he ordered passengers out of First Class on a packed and delayed train while he took up two seats.

‘I want you to see the host and think, “Oooh, it’s Jo Brand or Alexander Armstrong.” I don’t think people will say, “Oooh, brilliant, it’s Anna Soubry.” ’ Have I Got News For You producer Jo Bunting hits out at ‘greedy’ politicians who only want to present the show, rather an appear as a guest.