QUOTES of the week

‘I’ve always admired Captain Mainwaring.’ Brexiteer Jacob Rees-Mogg after being asked if his bid to oust Theresa May had been a Dad’s Army operation.

‘I honestly thought there would be a caravan round the back doing bacon sandwiches.’ Harry Redknapp is taken by surprise at the spartan conditions on I’m A Celebrity…

‘I suspect Kylie and Shane may possibly make the shortlist… but ladies and gentlemen I would not hold your breath for Edna or Les.’ Prince Charles teases an audience at Australia House about possible names for Harry and Meghan’s baby.

‘There were some weird moments – like giving birth to my dad.’ Ruth Wilson, who plays her own grandmother in a new BBC drama.

‘Some things last for ever – others not for an hour.’ German police after a teenage driver lost his licence for speeding just 49 minutes after passing his test.

‘I should probably think about changing it to Simply Grey.’ Flame-haired Mick Hucknall ponders altering the name of his band Simply Red to reflect his new hair colour.

‘If you don’t realise the appeal of a shed then you’ve never been married.’ Reader’s response to an article criticising men’s affections for garden sheds.

‘We’re going to come to a point where we’re going to start pushing out messages to colleagues, “If you don’t think you can detain a person, just let them go.”’ Police leader Ken Marsh after two officers in London were captured on film being assaulted in the latest horrific incident in a major UK city.

‘It’s unusual in a marriage to argue over leg razors, I grant you.’ Sara Thomas, wife of Tour de France winner Geraint, reveals their battles in the bathroom.