QUOTES of the week

‘To us he was close to perfect but not totally perfect. His short game was lousy. He wasn’t exactly Fred Astaire on the dance floor. And the man couldn’t stomach vegetables.’

George W. Bush

jokingly pays tribute to his father George Snr during his funeral eulogy.

‘Someone in the office just said, “Weren’t the Buzzcocks a one-hit wonder?” and there’s nearly been a fight.’

Broadcaster Jeremy Vine

tweets following the death of the band’s singer Pete Shelley, aged 63.

‘This guy is from America, where families send their children to school hoping they are going to survive the day without a wazzock turning up with a gun.’

Barrow Council leader David Pidduck

hits back at author Bill Bryson for criticising the town.

‘I really don’t think I can do that again.’

Dame Joan Collins

recalls her experience of taking her grandchildren to the Winter Wonderland experience in London.

‘That whole “so you have it all”. Nope, not at the same time. That’s a lie.’

Michelle Obama

warns women of the difficulties in balancing a career with having a family.

‘There is a lot of unseemly flirting going on. It’s really quite unsavoury.’

Dawn French

jokes about her Snow White panto production.

‘I remember when I started doing yoga and people said, “She’s a witch. She’s a freak.” ’

Gwyneth Paltrow

on the reaction she received in the 1990s when she revealed her passion for the ancient exercise.